Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, January 17, 1993 TAG: 9301170091
SECTION: NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL PAGE: A-2 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: OWEN ULLMAN KNIGHT-RIDDER/TRIBUNE
DATELINE: WASHINGTON LENGTH: Long
DIARIES REVEAL BUSH DILEMNA
In his final days in office, George Bush has lifted the mask of discretion he wore for 25 years in public life and revealed a private side never seen before.It's there in the 1986-87 diary excerpts released by the White House Friday: the thin-skinned preoccupation with the press, disdain for the right wing, a vice president's feeling of powerlessness, the personal anxiety and the Hamlet-like inner struggle between principle and politics.
The diary entries were offered with the aim of showing the then-vice president's innocence in the Iran-Contra scandal, but they reveal more about his personality than Iran-Contra; remarkable insights from a president who has fiercely resisted efforts by reporters to - as he put it - to "stretch me out on the couch."
One recurrent theme is the tug-of-war Bush acknowledges between his sense of loyalty to President Reagan and the political imperative to break with the president before being dragged down by the mushrooming scandal.
"Frankly, I just don't think you can go out and separate from Reagan on this thing, although some would like to see you do it," he dictates into a tape machine on Friday, Nov. 21, two weeks after the scandal erupts.
"There would be some short-run affirmation of character, if I would go out and say, `Well, I've thought of this and I can no longer remain silent.' I must go out and say `I think what's happened is despicable and never should have happened in the first place.' I'm not about to start that."
Bush was unique in Washington for his refusal during eight years as vice president to reveal anything about his personal advice to Reagan.
His goal was to maintain a posture of unwavering loyalty and to keep the press at arm's length. One consequence was a negative image as a wimp, a man who left no footprints in two decades in public life.
Bush recognized that keeping his mouth shut could hurt his image and his prospects for claiming the presidency in 1988.
"When you don't play their [media] game, this inside game of what you think and what your comments are or `Who do you think is wrong, who do you think is right?' then they call you hiding and if you do say something, then they say `you're breaking from the president or sycophantically loyal," he says on Nov. 24, 1986.
"This is really hurting me and will hurt me. In 1988, I expect my political opponents are going to start putting this out, but there really isn't very much I can do about that. I've made my decision. It may get so bad - this or the economy or something - that I will cease to be a credible candidate."
He comes back to the theme the next day.
"People will say, `Well, why didn't you do something about it [Iran-Contra]?' People not recognizing always that vice presidents don't always have chances to `do something' about anything, given the myth about vice presidents."
He also grumbles about being excluded from a National Security Council meeting even though he is an official member: "I have felt a twinge as to why the hell they didn't include me."
They are revealing admissions since a major theme of his campaign for the presidency was his experience at the center of power and his readiness to "be president from day one."
On Dec. 17, Bush complains that some of his own advisers lack his courage to remain loyal to Reagan because of the political damage: "There is a lot of pusillanimous worry here, but they are all trying to protect my interest. But we'll see. I've always said that when we go down in the polls, some will go over the side."
Loyalty is also at issue when he takes a few swipes at political conservatives, who always suspected his true commitment to their cause despite his public fealty. Their suspicions appear on target.
"In my view, the right-wingers are going to see if I'm going to try to separate from the president, yet a lot of them . . . have been against the president on this [secret arms sales to Iran]," he observes Nov. 21.
Bush's calm public visage is betrayed by several admissions that he had a case of nerves. "Woke to a rash of stories, I couldn't sleep all night," he says Nov. 25, the day after he claims he first heard that profits from the sale of weapons to Iran were used to buy arms for the Nicaraguan Contras. "End of the perhaps the most tense week since I've been vice president," he says 10 days later.
Bush's obsession with press criticism and leaks is another dominant theme in his recollections.
His first entry, on Nov. 4, 1986, is about his catching his then-deputy chief of staff anonymously telling reporters that Bush's national security adviser may be involved in the scandal: "We had a problem on that Fred Khedouri thing. I know he talked to the papers. I know he's been down on Don Gregg."
In nearly every subsequent entry, he is bothered by news media attacks. He indirectly acknowledges his own thin skin on Nov. 14 by praising Reagan's equanimity. "He smiles when the press fire these tough questions. That is something that I have got to learn and learn better. I will keep trying."
On Nov. 21, he refers to "a horrible fellow, a right-wing guy from the Washington Times." On Dec. 5, he complains that Senate Democrats "are leaking again" and reporters make no attempt to get at the facts. "The papers will take a leak and print it whether there's any truth to it or not," he says.
At times, Bush sounds philosophical.
"As far as I am concerned, you fall back on those old home-grown truths: Do your best, tell the truth, try your hardest, and then, I guess, just not worry after all of that," he says on Dec. 16.
But he can't keep himself from worrying.
"The hardest thing of all this is to have your honor and your integrity questioned," he says just four days later. "The kind of doubt and meanness that gets into the faces of the reporters when they simply don't think you are telling the truth.
"I remember out in Iowa, [Washington Post reporter] David Hoffman showing a kind of vigor and strain in his face - almost like, `How can you ask me to believe these kinds of things?' It is disappointing, but goes with the territory."