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                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, January 18, 1993                   TAG: 9301180368
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A8   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: 
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Short

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AMERICA ON PARADE

LET ME THANK all the Clinton supporters, and the Perot supporters who helped elect Clinton, for giving us the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see the granddaddy of all inaugural parades.

First, we shall see the Lawn Chair Marchers, which is a group of costumed men carrying white lawn chairs, marching and doing tricks with the chairs. This is no joke!

Second, the transvestites have been invited and will participate. Transvestites are those cute, darling men who wear high-heeled shoes, dresses, wigs and lots of jewelry and make-up. This you've got to see to believe.

Third, gays and lesbians will also be in Clinton's parade. (Lest anyone accuse me of gay-bashing, I have been in social settings where gays have been present whom I like very much. I doubt they would march in the inaugural parade even if invited.)

Don't be shocked, America. You were not listening when Clinton promised you a Cabinet and parade to reflect America. He's keeping his promise.

Well, I have news for Clinton. My America reflects Virginia Military Institute and Culver Military School - two schools that have performed for more than 40 years in inaugural parades, and which this year were dropped.

I guess if I were a draft-dodger I would want as little military presence in my parade as possible, too.

B. ROUPAS ROSSON SALEM

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