Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, January 19, 1993 TAG: 9301190193
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Kathleen Wilson
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
TOASTING '92'S BEST PARTYERS
In the past year, I've partied with doctors, drag queens, lawyers, artists, bikers, Marines, preschoolers, teen-agers, senior citizens and punk rockers.A couple hundred parties later, where I met at least several thousand people, you'll never hear me say there's nothing to do in Roanoke again.
It only seems fair that, in exchange for all the fun I've had with y'all (note how Southern I'm becoming), that I thank you in some way.
So here come, in no particular order, the oh-so-prestigious, inaugural Roanoke Times & World-News Mingling Awards:
The Geraldo Rivera "Now It Can Be Told" Award goes to Mark Collins of the Roanoke Civic Center who, when approached for help with getting near Garth Brooks during his September concert, suggested I go undercover and masquerade as one of the caterers.
Great idea! Heck, I even had experience. Waitressed my way through college. But because it didn't pan out . . .
The Spoil Sport Award goes to Dana ---- of Swanson Catering, who squelched that plan.
Our Youngest Garthic Cinderella was 6-year-old April Perdue who celebrated her birthday at Garth's concert and got an autographed guitar pick from a kind roadie.
They're everywhere. You can't escape them. But if there's an award for Best Ham Biscuits it's gotta go to Rhonda Maddox. Hers were the piece de resistance of ham biscuits, with poppyseeds and steak sauce and secret ingredients I couldn't muscle out of her.
The Grin and Bare It Award can only go to the group with which I spent last New Year's Eve crashing parties.
Two gentlemen in our merry band mooned a couple hundred folks watching teen-age baton twirlers at the First Night Festivities.
The Cave Spring Jaycees' Fourth of July Jimmy Buffet extravaganza receives the Wilder Than Woodstock Award. These people are professional partyers among amateurs.
Ironically, the Cave Spring Jaycees also receive the award for the Party I Thank God I Missed - for their survival weekend on some island out on Smith Mountain Lake.
The Party I'm Sorriest I Missed Award is for the local Marine Corps Ball last month. I love a man in uniform, and these guys are my particular favorites.
If I'm a professional mingler, then Marine Corps Sgt. Sam Lafaye is Roanoke's Best Amateur Mingler. He is quite possibly the friendliest person I've ever met, and I know lots of others who would whole heartedly agree.
The Least Likely Source For Fashion Advice Award belongs to none other than the Augusta County Correctional Center, where an inmate invited me to cover a graduation party.
Among the instructions I received was that I would be frisked. But not for files or hairpins or anything like that.
No, I would be frisked to make sure I was wearing a bra.
"You have no idea how many women try to come to prison without wearing underwear," I was told.
Julie Burnett receives the Good Sport Award. On Super Bowl Sunday '92, I plowed right into her brand-new Mitsubishi Eclipse. She was very understanding when I told her I had to leave or I'd miss the fourth quarter party.
The Most Charming Man I've met is, alas, a teen-ager. Ran into Adam Cicero, 14, at the Festival of the Trees on the 21st floor of the Dominion Tower. But I first met him at Helen St. John's garden birthday party.
If only he were a few - no, many - years older, I told him.
"Keep waiting," he said. "I'll be there."
Two parties win Saturday Night Fever honors. When the police showed up at Julie Hunsaker's party last summer, it seemed the neighbors weren't really bothered by how loud the music was.
They were, however, really offended she was blasting "Disco Inferno."
And some 600 Harley riders seemed disgusted when the radio station that provided the music for their post-ride picnic in Wasena Park chose "If I Can't Have You" as appropriate music.
("Where's the Steppenwolf?" Debbie Cassell groaned.)
In the past year only one group banned me from its party, and that's why the Ebenezer Scrooge Award goes to the owner of the Blacksburg/Christiansburg Domino's Pizza chain.
I was told she didn't want me "scrutinizing [her] employees eating."
No food I've eaten beats that of Best Caterer Award winner Dianne Whitehead of Christiansburg.
Dianne did the Domino's Pizza party (where I can only imagine how good the food was) and the Museum of Fine Arts' reception for the Faberge Egg collection. Not only is her food exotic and tastes sensational, it's almost always looks too pretty to eat.
The Party Must Go On Award goes to Ric Aliff, who valiantly rescued the beer from the back yard when a torrential rain tried to dampen the New River Valley Gourd Cotillion.
The He Could Sell The Brooklyn Bridge Award goes to Floyd's Brian Keenan, the guy who continually tries to sell me a handmade fringed leather bra he claims would look great with my hair.
The Rona Barrett Award for Gossip goes to the entire city of Salem. Mind you, I love Salem. Some of my best friends live in Salem. But it does crack me up.
Once at a party I told someone I was 34 and yes, I am Irish.
Later in the evening, word was that I was 43 and Jewish.
Twelve-year-old Patrick Connelly of the Cave Spring American Little League Team - District 12 champs last year - is the Guy Most Likely To Have A Career In Public Relations.
(Even though he groaned when he discovered I was only with the paper and not Sports Illustrated.)
This Cave Spring party also was my Most Difficult Assignment. Ever try interviewing 14 12-year-old boys at once?
I get a lot of mail, but my Favorite Correspondence comes from Bob Brammer, whom I have repeatedly described as looking even better than the young Elvis. Bob simply signed his note to me "Hunka Hunka."
The Greatest Tact Award goes to Bill Grey of Salem, who read the column before it had a picture with it. He claimed to be astounded I didn't look like Aunt Bee when I met him.
"Gee, I thought you were going to be a lady," he said.
(I beg your pardon!)
This area's Best Theme Parties are thrown by a group of Roanoke Memorial physicians - including Jim Vascik and John Delaney - whose parties include a Come-dressed-in-your-tackiest-clothes-from-the-'70s-and-let's-all-throw-pies-a t-each-other party that came with two pages of instructions.
Finally the Bravest Woman I Know is Julie Fahrbach, who hosted the very first party I ever mingled at, back when I was begging friends and friends of friends to let me tag along anywhere for a column.
Just about everyone in the Roanoke metropolitan area deserves a Leo Buscaglia Warm and Fuzzy Award. (He's that pop-psych guy who writes the bestselling self-help books.)
Thanks for all the times I've reached out to shake hands when I meet someone (a Yankee trait) and you've shoved that hand aside and hugged me (a very Southern thing).
I love it. It sure beats that phoney New York City air-kissing thing.
THE PARTY LINE: If you'd like to invite Mingling columnist Kathleen Wilson to a party or social gathering, call her at 981-3434; when asked for the mailbox, dial MING (6464) and press the # key. Then leave a message as directed. Or writeher in care of the Features Department, Roanoke Times & World-News, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke, Va. 24010-2491.