Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, January 24, 1993 TAG: 9301250255
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: B-3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MARGIE FISHER EDITORIAL WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
PASSION IN THE CLASSIFIEDS
SDWF with predilection for sedentary posterior indulgence wants to seduce W/B M/F with right equipment to satisfy longings into brief but mutually rewarding encounter. Open-minded.EXPLANATION: Since changing jobs (from reporter to editorial writer) a couple of years ago, I've spent more time sitting on my rump. It shows - in the mirror and in the way my clothes fit - and I keep promising myself to get more exercise.
I'm interested in one of those new-fangled at-home fitness machines - one that simulates cross-country skiing, jogging, stair-climbing or bike-riding - especially if I can buy it on the cheap. Thus, I've become a frequent reader of the Roanoke Times & World-News classified section.
Golly! Wow!
The dull, gray pages at the back of the paper, once visited only to look for used sewing machines, are now teeming with passion, longing, sexual innuendo and provocative "possibilities." For a person who hasn't had cause to read the classifieds for 15 or 20 years, it's culture shock.
To compete for readers going crosseyed over "Exotic Donna Live! 1-900- . . .," I expect soon that purveyors of firewood will advertise, "C'mon, baby, light my fire!" Teachers of guitar lessons will tease, "Wanta fiddle around with our G-strings?"
Times-World believes it was the first publisher of an "establishment" newspaper in Virginia to offer, in 1982, "personal" ads - at least of the lonely-hearts-club variety. Seems the long-standing policy, that such ads had no place in a "family newspaper," went out the window when an elderly woman showed up on our doorstep nearly desperate for our help.
Her husband of many years had died, leaving her partner-less for a dance club that was a great enjoyment. She needed to find a new dance partner.
After doing a lot of soul-searching, newspaper officials concluded that it does take two to tango and there could be no harm in helping the woman get back on the dance floor. So, standing firmly on the premise of the First Amendment and its responsibility to serve readers, Times-World gave birth to "Want to Meet" - for fun (hers) and profit (ours).
I was in Richmond at the time and missed the evolution of the personal-ad genre. I'm told that in the beginning we were quite prissy; that, for instance, we tastefully put our foot down and rejected an ad wherein two women wanted to meet one man - they'd fix the dinner, he was to bring the wine - as entirely too specific and suggestive. We also disallowed intimations of homosexuality.
Today, however, we have no trouble with " Open minded white couple wants to meet single white female. Send photo" or " Open minded couple wants to meet same." Maybe they're looking for someone to show pictures of their first grandchild.
Nor do we blanch at "Gay WM, 30, seeks sincere man, must be 6'3"-6'9", 250lbs-395lbs, waist 36-38, chest 40-55, biceps 19-25, love horseback riding." (Talk about specificity.)
Today, most sizable newspapers in Virginia (as around the country) run such personal wanna-meet ads in one form or another. That's because they've proved to be very successful - meaning, profitable for newspapers and popular with readers.
Indeed, advertising managers can point with pride to wedding invitations and birth announcements they've received from folks who found true love in the classified section. Indications are the ads are well-read even among those not itching to make a love connection. And, unlike the early days, nobody - much - still condemns us as immoral for playing the matchmaker.
Now, this being an opinion page, what do I think about it?
Well, I am a SDWF. Back in the '70s, I went to a singles bar or two, and found them utterly depressing - like a distressed-merchandise sale following a flood at a flea market. I've never tried a singles club or even a singles Sunday school class because, fortunately, I've never felt so lonely that I was moved to try anything.
But I know many S's who are desperately lonely and tired of looking for love in all the wrong places. Clearly, there are a heck of a lot more of them than there are folks looking for used sewing machines. And, in a day when it's as important to find a mate with no sexually communicable diseases or sexual psychoses as it is to find Mr. or Ms. Right, the anonymity of the classifieds offer a degree of protection. You get to check out respondents before you actually meet them.
So, as Times-World concluded in '82, I see no harm in most personal ads.
(Unless you count creative prevarication gone amok. Reading "Possibilities," you'd think all the lonely people in this newspaper's readership area are good-looking, financially secure, honest, physically fit, sincere, cuddly, have a super personality, a wonderful sense of humor and are, of course, modest. Oh, occasionally, someone admits to being "Rubenesque" or having a few idiosyncrasies. But bet you'll never see "SDF, 46, 203lbs, varicose veins, hair on upper lip, heavy smoker, needs crown work . . ." Or, "SDM, 300lbs, beer gut, tattoo of ex-wife's name on shoulder, bankrupt . . .")
Where I part company with the company is on the 1-900 "Conversation Line" ads: "A1 Roanoke Girls Home #s . . . " "Miss Lisa Live!" "Hottest Date Line. All life styles. Contacts your area." "Make a Roanoke Date!" "Hot Live Talk! Just you and me!"
As I understand it, the paper justifies these, as well as other personal ads, as a service to readers. There are people out there who want to know where to call to get their kicks on smutty talk. (Hey, you don't think they're calling to discuss ways to reduce the federal deficit, do you?) It's the newspaper's business to provide information.
Yes, but the newspaper withholds information every day. Every day, it makes judgment calls as to what will appear in its news and advertising columns. There is, for instance, an area rap band whose name never appears in our news columns because it refers to a sexual-aid device. We reject sexually graphic movie ads. We (as did most newspapers) carried stories about the obscenity flap involving the 2 Live Crew album, "As Nasty As They Want To Be." But left out of the stories were the lyrics about intercourse and sodomy that caused the flap. For that information, our readers had to go elsewhere.
Would we, in the interest of providing information, run - as Soldier of Fortune magazine did - a classified advertisement for a killer-for-hire? I don't believe so.
In my opinion, the Conversation Line ads are pimping for those with prurient interests. Additionally, they make the many high-minded stances taken on the editorial pages against the demeaning of women and women's bodies appear hypocritical.
As a staunch believer in and defender of the First Amendment, I have some difficulty criticizing the "hot talk" ads. I don't like 'em - but I am firmly convinced that freedom of speech must extend not only to ideas I like but also those that offend me.
It just happens I also agree with what a rabbi, Laurence Edwards, said on the subject: "Freedom of the press does not mean that we have to print just anything that is given to us, or take money for it."
Finally, I also agree with Marshall McLuhan's famous 1964 quote: "The medium is the message." In this instance, I think my medium is sending the wrong message.