Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, February 1, 1993 TAG: 9302020032
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: NF1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: WENDI GIBSON RICHERT STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
A DIFFERENT KIND OF BUDDY SYSTEM
Rashard Webb and Leroy Edwards snicker when asked if 11-year-old Rashard has a girlfriend yet. Both know he doesn't, but Leroy is brotherly enough to give the admittedly shy Rashard some old-fashioned advice about talking to girls.And Rashard trusts his friend so much, he'll take it.
The pair aren't your typical school buddies. Neither did they grow up together in the same neighborhood, playing after school and hanging out on weekends.
But they are practically brothers - in one sense because of the close relationship they share. They were brought together through the Big Brothers-Big Sisters program in Roanoke.
For Rashard, a sixth-grader at Addison Middle School, Leroy is more than a person with years of real-life experience to share. He's also a role model, an advice-giver, a homework-helper, a movie companion and a trusted friend.
Annie Stelzel and Kelli Updike share a similar relationship. They are sisters through Big Brothers-Big Sisters of Roanoke Valley.
Twelve-year-old Annie had a Big Sister for a while before meeting Kelli, but the first one moved away. Annie and Kelli have been sisters for almost a year, and already they know each other well enough to finish the other's sentences.
"We love popcorn," Kelli says. That's what they eat every time they go to the movies.
"With lots of salt and butter," finishes Annie.
For Annie, who lives with her sister and father and attends Roanoke Catholic school, "It's like having a real sister. I just like it. You get to do a lot of girlie stuff."
Big Brothers-Big Sisters serves kids ages 7-14 who live with only one parent. Its goal is to match children with adult friends and role models.
"Probably all of us at one time or another have benefitted from an adult on the outside," says Chet Hart, executive director with Big Brothers-Big Sisters of the Roanoke Valley.
The program began about 90 years ago in Cincinnati and exists all over the United States. Besides Roanoke, there are nearby branches of Big Brothers-Big Sisters in Christiansburg, Lynchburg and Bedford.
Getting a Big Brother or Big Sister does take some time. Families fill out an application and are interviewed by someone from Big Brothers-Big Sisters. Kids are interviewed both with their parents and without to determine what kind of brother or sister they would be most comfortable with.
Adults applying to be a Big Brother or Big Sister go through a similar application procedure, meeting with representatives from the program to determine the kind of kid they'd like to be matched with. They are asked to stay with their match for at least one year.
In all, the time between filling out the application and meeting a Big Brother or Big Sister for the first time can take anywhere from a few months to a year, depending on whether the agency can match kids with the right volunteer.
Annie waited only three orfour months before meeting Kelli, a Roanoke lawyer. Her younger sister, Gretchen, waited more than a year, however, to be matched with hers.
Rashard and Leroy, who is a Roanoke firefighter, say they can't remember how long they waited before being matched. But like Annie and Kelli, they hit it off immediately.
Annie and Rashard get together with their Big Sister and Big Brother every week, usually on the weekend. They talk on the phone, too, planning their weekend activities and sometimes just talking.
Rashard and Leroy like to play video games together and go to the movies. Their favorite trip was to a Washington Redskins football game and to the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C.
Sometimes they get together with other Little Brothers that Leroy has had over the years, most recently Chad Jones, a senior at Patrick Henry High School who is still Leroy's Little Brother.
Annie and Kelli say their favorite thing to do together is shop and eat. The best time they remember having was when Annie and her sister joined Kelli and her husband to pick out a Christmas tree, chop it down and decorate it at Kelli's house last year.
Rashard likes having a Big Brother because "it's mostly fun. You get to go places and you meet people . . . . Most of the things you do helps you with stuff you need to be helped with."
But aside from getting help with homework, or the speech Kelli helped Annie write when she ran for vice president of her Student Council Association - and won - kids can get a real and lasting friendship with adults who are asking to be friends with kids.
"They become part of your life," Hart says.