Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, February 7, 1993 TAG: 9302120419
SECTION: YOUR WEDDING PAGE: NRV-2 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: By BECKY HEPLER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
PLANNING PARAMOUNT FOR A SMOOTH DAY
Getting married is as encrusted with traditions, rituals and rules of etiquette as a wedding cake is with frosting rosettes. So when you're talking about a ceremony that can cost the same as a small car or a down payment for a house, the need for proper planning to attend to all those details becomes paramount.Is it something that a bride and maybe her mother can do on their own? Has the process of getting hitched gotten so complicated that outside professional help must be tapped? Let's look at the options.
"You can have the perfect wedding cheaply," said Cecil Reneau, head of catering at the Farmhouse Restaurant. "Elope."
But it need not be as grim as that.
For all brides, the perfect wedding, the one you will look back on with fondness instead of regret, is just a matter of knowing your budget and sticking to it, giving yourself plenty of time and resolving to stay in control of the process. You want a wedding that means something to you and your bridegroom, that allows you and your friends and family to celebrate together without bankruptcy and allows you to get married without having a nervous breakdown.
Nevertheless, it is amazing the number of weddings that don't go well, that leave the couple or their parents deep in debt, that leave the bride exhausted, bitter and unsatisfied. The perfect wedding means planning, either with or without professional help. That is a function of your budget.
For those with unlimited checkbook and no time or ideas, the perfect wedding can be delivered lock, stock and barrel to your door by the professional wedding coordinator. But by relying on resources such as the library and people who work in the business, brides with a budget can still have a day to remember. You may want to mix it up, doing some jobs yourself while hiring out others.
If you have the engagement ring but don't know where to start planning your wedding, you might check the YMCA's Free University. One of the classes offered is a one-day luncheon seminar on planning the perfect wedding.
Cecil Reneau of the Farmhouse Restaurant is coordinating the event that will feature representatives from photography studios, florist shops, tux rental places, bridal fashions, bakeries, limousine rentals, deejays and several other establishments involved in the wedding business.
"This isn't your typical bridal show, where there's a fashion show and vendors just hand out brochures," Reneau said. "We want to give the brides information they can really use, things to think about. It's really important to have realistic expectations and know how things work."
He gave as an example the ubiquitous champagne fountain, often touted as necessary equipment for a wedding. "It's okay if you're serving a non-carbonated punch, but you put good champagne in one of those fountains and it destroys the bubbles," he said. "You're left with unsparkling white wine."
Rene has gained his expertise by working as a florist, a deejay and a caterer and helping with many weddings. He said the key to a great wedding that everyone enjoys is flexibility. Weddings never go as planned and being able to adapt to what happens will help keep the stress level down to manageable levels.
Wedding coordinators usually have experience in the florist, catering or fashion business. After several years of working alongside the other people in putting on a wedding, the person has developed enough know-how and enough contacts to start coordinating an entire wedding.
Irene Robinson has created just such a one-stop wedding shop with her Wedding Center in Pulaski. You can get your dress, the attendants' dresses, the bridegroom's tuxedo, the flowers and any accessories you need. You can order the invitations, plan the reception, hire the band, buy the cake and make the reservations for your honeymoon at one place. She'll even do your makeup before the ceremony, if you want.
"You could do all this yourself, but it's a headache going all over the place. Here, we have everything under one roof," she said.
Cathy Battle, manager of Sue's Florist Shop, has much the same operation in Floyd. "We can do the entire wedding, or any single part, whatever you want us to do," she said.
Battle pointed out that there is a difference between the wedding consultant or coordinator, who helps to plan the entire event, and the wedding director, the person who is in charge of the actual wedding ceremony, directing that and the rehearsal to ensure the proper placement of people in the wedding party. The director also takes care of some details such as distributing corsages and boutonnieres.
The larger and more elaborate the wedding, the nicer it is to have a coordinator who can help the bride-to-be keep up with all the details, Battle said. While most of her clients have been younger women, she works with everyone. "Lately, it's been the 70-year-olds getting married and needing help with the arrangements," she said.
Christopher Widdoes is the owner and resident expert at Pearisburg Florist and Gift Shop. While he has been in this business only two years, he has extensive experience. Last year alone, he coordinated 25 weddings.
"One-stop shopping is the way to go," he said. "We can do everything from the engagement party to the honeymoon arrangements. You can get everything done without a lot of pressure."
To coordinate an entire wedding, Widdoes charges a percentage of the final cost, factoring in the size of the wedding and the amount of detail involved. He also will perform specific services.
Brides using the War Memorial Chapel on the Tech campus get a free director in Naomi Wilson. Her services are included in the $75 chapel fee.
After supervising more than 6,000 weddings in her 20 years of service, however, she has become quite knowledgeable about the wedding process and given her very maternal attitude toward "her brides," she is a great source of information and help, an unofficial coordinator for the women using the chapel.
"I'm a proxy mother," she said. "Most of my brides are students, away from home, and really need some help."
Wilson prepares a packet with names and brochures of area merchants and vendors for brides using the chapel. She and her assistant, Pricilla Soucek, have two workshops a year, one in the spring and one in the fall on planning a wedding.
The folks at Bridal Elegance, a bride's fashion shop in Blacksburg, are not in the consulting business professionally, but they are willing to pass on lots of good information and tips on surviving a wedding. Their most important piece of advice?
"Don't let anyone make you do anything," said Cheryl Kingrea, clerk. "It's your wedding and remember you have the final say. If you want to wear something or do something because it's special to you, do it."
Kingrea and Carolyn Freeze, owner, had some other advice for brides planning their weddings.
"Start early," said Freeze. "It will give you more time to do things, which reduces stress. Also ministers, churches and locations for weddings and receptions get booked quickly, especially during the wedding season and you need that extra time to be sure you get what you want."
Kingrea advised brides to make a budget first off and stick to it. "It's easy for things to get out of hand," she said. "But you need to set your priorities and go from there. And don't forget, simple is better. She also suggested to shop around and compare prices.