Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, February 15, 1993 TAG: 9302150290
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A9 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MONTY S. LEITCH
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
PICKING YOUR FRIENDS COUNTING THE WAYS OF COUNTING LAWYERS
ALL LAST week, President Clinton was struggling with his choice for attorney general. I was wondering how - in the spirit of our new administration - I could do something more than complain about this nation's problems.Finally, I decided to think up a good candidate for attorney general - someone Bill could nominate with pride, someone he could rest assured wasn't cheating the baby sitter.
Of course, now that he has nominated South Florida prosecutor Janet Reno, he won't need my help. But I don't hold my search to have been futile, for I made a startling discovery while doing it: I know, counting friends, family and acquaintances, at least 10 lawyers.
At first when I thought about this, 10 didn't sound like a lot of lawyers; after all, I do have a lot of friends. But then I got to thinking about the numbers of other professions represented among my friends and acquaintances, and I was a little taken aback.
I know more considerably than 10 teachers and quite a few more than 10 writers; you'd expect to know more folks in your own profession than in any other.
But in the top categories - lawyer, doctor, Indian chief - I know only one dentist, only two or three physicians, not a single Indian chief . . . and 10 lawyers!
Does this say something about my taste in friends? Or about our nation's law? Maybe we don't even need an attorney general, since there are so many general attorneys out here in the wilds.
I also discovered, in my now-unnecessary search, that there's not a single nanny or yardman among the employees of my 10 lawyer friends (although one of my lawyer friends is married to a very nice landscaper). A lot of the lawyers I know don't even have children (neither, by the way, does Clinton's choice, Miss Reno), and those who do have children have chosen traditional care plans. You know, mothers, grandmothers, day-care centers, public schools. Things like that, that we do out here in the sticks.
I also realized that most of my lawyer friends have rarely seen an illegal alien, much less hired one. I'm told there are illegal aliens floating around Southwest Virginia, but you have to look hard to find them; they blend in among the rest of the poverty-stricken.
Most importantly, these lawyer friends of mine are straight-up folks. One's even a judge, for heaven's sake. A couple of the others appear regularly on television, looking dapper and solemn and terribly efficient. I've known most of these folks for years, a few even from childhood, and could personally attest to the up-rightness their background checks would reveal. In fact, their relationship with me could possibly be the most damning revelation for any of them.
That is one thing, at least, that Dade County's Janet Reno won't have to worry about, because I've never met the woman; although by all accounts, she's someone I would like.
But that would make me 11 lawyer friends, now wouldn't it? Oh, dear. Ten's probably enough.
Actually, 10's probably more than enough. But I'm related to some of these lawyers I know, and you can't pick your relatives, can you?
Monty S. Leitch is a Roanoke Times & World-News columnist.