Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, February 20, 1993 TAG: 9302200069
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
I DON'T MEAN TO BE CYNICAL, BUT . . .
Well, golly and darn, and all this time I thought President Clinton just went out and talked to people like you and me.He never told us he had to have an advance man for these democratic, charming, down-home, great-commoner visits.
But the other day he showed up in blue jeans at this construction site in Washington and before anybody knew what was happening he was chewing out his advance man.
Something about not getting Washington's mayor and a member of Congress out of the mud and into this really, really, inspiring picture of Old Bill holding a hard hat and being just one of the guys with the common working men.
I don't know what happened to the advance man. Could be he's now a part of the effort to reduce government employment.
I certainly don't like to be cynical. I am by nature a warm and wonderful fellow who tries to shed light wherever he goes. I hate being an old, worn-out cynical person.
But I see the day when one of Clinton's aides comes into the Oval Office - which probably has three file cabinets full of hard hats - and tells the president it's time to visit an old, worn-out, cynical person.
"Enough of the construction people, chief," the aide says. "Time to get out and visit one of the old people who is cynical and worn-out."
"Old people?" the president says. "Old people?"
"Right, chief," the aide says. "You know. Senior citizens. Gray panthers. Worn-out people. The ones you didn't want to get the Social Security cost-of-living raises."
"Oh, right," the president says. "Those people who are spending all that money for Medicare."
"Yes, sir," the aide says. "These people vote, you know."
"They do?" the president asks. "I thought most of them were too sick to get to the polls. Oh, well, OK. What do I wear for this spur-of-the-moment, unplanned, sincere visit with an old common person?"
"Well, a hard hat might be a good idea," the aide says. "Ha. Ha. Just kidding there, chief. A lot of them walk in malls. How about one of your real nice jogging outfits?"
"Old people walk in malls?" the president asks. "Imagine that. If they're so healthy, why are they spending all that Medicare money?
"What do you think I should ask this person during a spontaneous and heart-warming visit?"
"Well, sir, I think I'd go easy on Medicare, if you catch my drift," the aide says. "And tone down the sacrifice bit."
"OK," the president says, "and make sure the advance man gets the mayor and the chairman of the county board of supervisors in the picture."