Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, April 2, 1993 TAG: 9304020015
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: B1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
ROANOKE: SO MUCH TO LEARN
Virginia Tech and Roanoke must be married - by shotgun, if necessary - if either is to flourish.There isn't a shard of truth about that, but most everybody's heard it and many buy into it, so I am not above exploiting it.
Since Tech boasts a well-regarded engineering school and since the Roanoke Valley is a settlement that is falling down by bits and chunks, Big Lick may be the perfect site for a branch engineering campus.
The philosophy at VPI&SUBLC (Virginia Pyrotechnic Institute and State University, Big Lick Campus) will be that we can best teach tomorrow's engineers what we want them to do by first showing them how not to do it.
Our Latin motto: "Non dufus, ignoramus."
In English: "If you do it that way, we will all die, stupidhead."
We'll open the fall semester next season with eight courses:
Course Number E1101X (4 credits). Styrofoam as a construction material. First-year students will gawk at 13-story Richard H. Poff Federal Building on Franklin Road, supported by innovative concrete/foam cup mix. Marvel at 790 federal workers in 13 stories trusting their lives to building materiel no stronger than your average convenience-store coffee cup.
Second semester: Panel discussion on Third Street parking lot exit eternally blocked by cross traffic waiting at Franklin Road traffic light.
E1102X (4 credits). Baiting the monsoon.
Engineering students will hear the mystery of the Spring Hollow Reservoir, a vast mud wallow in Roanoke County.
Designed to ensure a plentiful water supply for future generations of taxpayers, ground was broken for this $73 million project on March 1. Since then, it has rained steadily. Could the mere threat of a reservoir construction be enough to cause flooding? Thesis course.
E1103X (3 credits). Anatomy of a viaduct.
Well-preserved cross-section of a viaduct available for dissection by engineering students. Photo opportunities. Lab coat, pickaxe, required.
E1104X (4 credits). Hockey no more.
Students ogle the twisted girders, hear the pinging in the wind of metal siding at the LancerLot in Vinton. Instructors use this living laboratory to teach how not to build a building. Archaelogical dig subject to county officials' permission.
E1105X (4 credits). J.B. Fishburn Parkway.
Watching real-life mudslides erode the shoulder of a heavily used roadway, students see firsthand the devastation of seismic activity and the futility of mankind's never ending, but puny, efforts to tame nature.
E1106X (3 credits). Grade crossings so rough they'll crack your teeth when you drive over them.
Anywhere in the Roanoke Valley. Self-study.
E1107X (3 credits). Snow removal made complicated. Downtown Roanoke. Course meets only after 1/2-inch or more of snowfall. Students chortle at the Keystone cops driving gigantic snowplows. Zany antics guaranteed. Non-skid shoes required.
E1108X (3 credits). Boondoggle construction.
Henry Street Music Center and Jazz Institute. What is this place? Any student who can answer gets doctorate.