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                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: THURSDAY, April 8, 1993                   TAG: 9304080632
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A16   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: 
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Short

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GLANCES, ADVANCES, IN THE PARK

I FEEL sorry for Ed Shamy because he is propositioned when he just wants to read the paper in peace. That's no fun. I really feel sorry for him, though, because he is one of many straight guys who, to use Newsweek's phrase, just don't get it - who get all bent out of shape about unwanted sexual advances as if they (as a group, anyway) haven't been doing exactly the same thing to women since sex was invented.

Since when is using a public place without being looked at (or maybe even spoken to) a constitutional right? Lots of women would like to know. I mean, we're not talking about harassment in the work place or any overt physical threat here.

I'm a woman. I get hit on - we all do. And we hear great suggestions like "Get used to it - it's just the way men are" and "You should feel flattered." Not wanting to stoop to that level, I'll offer some constructive suggestions:

Learn how to say "no" (preferably without spitting).

Figure out that some gay men drink coffee, too, so putting your cup on the dash isn't a really clear signal that you're straight.

Practice phrases like, "Now I understand what women have to deal with all the time."

KATHY LaMOTTE\ ROANOKE

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