
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, May 5, 1993                   TAG: 9305050293
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A11   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: TOM TAYLOR
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

MR. JEFFERSON'S UNIVERSITY

EXCITEMENT WAS growing on the University of Virginia campus as Thomas Jefferson's 250th birthday celebration drew near. But Thudmorton was not so much excited as irritable. It seemed every writer and lecturer in Virginia was trying to wrangle a spot on the program.

Now, seated across from his desk in his office at UVa was yet another candidate. Thudmorton quickly read through the man's resume and proposed speech; didn't like it in the least, and slid the papers back across the desk.

"I'm sorry," he said to the distinguished-looking stranger, "we won't be able to use you. You see, we've more or less decided on a speaker already, Mikhail Gorbachev, and . . . "

"Gorbachev?" The stranger's blue eyes flashed. "He who rose to the top of a most brutal tyranny, and `reformed' only when it appeared certain to collapse?"

"Well, that is a most uncharitable way of looking at it," Thudmorton sniffed. "But your attitude only confirms what was obvious in your resume - that you are a right-wing extremist of sorts, and . . . "

"Right wing? What do you mean?" The stranger seemed genuinely puzzled.

"Well, for instance, Mr. . . . "

"Jefferson."

"Yes. I see in your resume you're a member of some `Founding Fathers Group' whose members say things like `Give me liberty or give me death' and `It is impossible to rightly govern without God and the Bible.' That is right-wing extremism to say the least."

"We didn't think it to be . . . "

"And then," Thudmorton went on irritably, "the things you planned to say in your speech, like `The God who gave us life gave us liberty,' and `men are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights' - these are plainly unacceptable."

"Could you tell me why?" asked the stranger.

"Of course. Our students have been taught for years that they are only the chance result of chemical processes that began millions of years ago. Now, to start talking about their `Creator' giving them inalienable rights . . . that would be a bit ridiculous, wouldn't it?"

The stranger leaned forward in surprise. "You teach students that at my university?"

"Oh, you're an alumnus . . . "

"Why, if we had believed such a thing, there would have been no Declaration of Independence, or Constitution or any of it!"

Thudmorton wasn't listening. "And to say that life and liberty are gifts of God. . . . Can you imagine the disruption it would cause in America if people really believed that?"

"I should certainly hope they believe it," said the stranger. "Can the liberties of any nation be thought secure unless there is a conviction in the minds of the people that their liberties are a gift of God?"

Thudmorton paused. Those words had a vaguely familiar ring and, at the gaze from the stranger's aristocratic eyes, a shiver ran down his spine. But he plunged ahead.

"You must think of the disruption!" he said. "If people really believed life is a gift of God, they might start picketing abortion clinics, or who knows what other mischief! And if we accept some `Creator's' authority to give us liberty, we would have to accept his authority on other things too - like sexual behavior and morality. You see? We couldn't support rights for homosexuals, the right to publish pornography, and all the other things that made America great. No, I'm afraid your views are a bit too radical for this event."

"So you would be more comfortable with this Gorbachev fellow?"

"Yes, we certainly would. I'm sorry."

The stranger nodded his distinguished head sadly. "So am I."

by CNB