Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, May 6, 1993 TAG: 9305050157
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Joel Achenbach
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
First, we want to sincerely thank all the readers who, despite the absence of prize money, went to the trouble to compose entries, some of which were not totally illogical and incomprehensible.
C. Bent Lundsager, of Ashton, Md., deserves mention for this game effort:
Q: What is the origin of the silly English greeting `How do you do?'
A: As an immigrant, with English as a second language, this never-answered question-greeting has been puzzling me for more than 50 years. But during a recent visit to England the solution came to me, like a vision.
While admiring ruins of former Roman glory, a scenario occurred to me: After initial hostilities, the Romans settled in to stay and even made some friends among the local gentry. One of these gentries was invited to his Roman friend's palace on the Tiber. . . .
Knowing nothing of daily life at his destination, and having failed to consult the Miss Manners of his time, he feared he might disgrace himself by doing the wrong things. So having heard the phrase `When in Rome, do as the Romans do,' he decided to go forth with a smile on his face, his hand outstretched and a question on his lips: `how do you do?'
Dear Bent: Your footnotes must have gotten lost in the mail.
Now this, from Stanley E. Anderson, of Westminster, Calif.:
Q: So, when does the next millennium really start - January 1, 2000 or January 1, 2001?
A: Imagine two people arguing about when the first atomic bomb was dropped. In the heat of argument, one passionately explains that it was immoral to ever construct it in the first place. The other angrily responds that it shortened the war and saved thousands of lives. A calm bystander points out that their philosophies have nothing to do with the date, which is simply an historical fact to look up.
The same problem occurs in discussions about the beginning of the next millennium/century/decade. People constantly argue about why one or the other date is logical or sensible when the matter depends solely on an historical decision made by, apparently, Pope Gregory XIII. He declared, wisely or foolishly, that the calendar started not on January 1, AD 0; but on January 1, AD 1. Therefore, January 1, 2001 wins.
Dear Stanley: We intend to celebrate good times (come on!) the night of Dec. 31, 1999. No one can stop us. Fussy people may frown and wring their hands, but when that odometer kicks over we're going to be three sheets to the wind.
Here's one we liked a lot, from Bryan Willford, of Columbus, Ohio:
Q: Why are basketball teams called "cagers"?
A. At one time (basketball teams) were indeed called cagers, and it wasn't just to save headline space on the sports page. Here's why: James Naismith's game of today is radically different from when he invented it in 1891. . . . The most bizarre rule was the out of bounds rule. When the ball went out of bounds, for any reason, the team whose player first regained control of it would retain possession. The resultant melee of players going after a loose ball resembled a rugby scrum . . .
The rule worked fine until someone had the bright idea to put bleachers around the court to accommodate growing throngs of spectators. Clearly something had to be done. Fan interest was not going to grow if they kept ending up in the hospital. Taking a cue from hockey, a wire mesh cage was erected around the court allowing plenty of room for action without knocking out anyone's pompons. The players became known as cagers."
Dear Bryan: We love any answer that involves a melee, and the possible spurting of blood. Too bad you chose to answer a question that hasn't been asked in 20 years.
And finally, here's our favorite, from Jill Knox-Dick of Alexandria, Va.:
Q: Why is the horizon in the form of a circle?
A: When I stand on my 15th floor balcony I have a magnificent view for miles around. I do mean around because the horizon curves as though I were standing on a very small planet of which the rounded shape was apparent.
I have discovered the explanation in a rather simple theorem: The center of a circle is equidistant from every point of its circumference. Conversely, the various points on the horizon, from my perspective, are equidistant. So if an imaginary line joined these points, the result would form a circle, or part of a circle, with me at the center. It's a small world after all!
Dear Jill: Don't be so self-centered. (Hah! This umbrella drink is taking effect.) Actually that's just about the perfect Why item, because it explains an everyday perception in simple language, and might actually inspire someone to go outside, look around, feel the nature vibes, become one with the universe, and shout "I am the master of all I survey," which is what this column strives for every week.
Washington Post Writers Group
by CNB