Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, May 10, 1993                   TAG: 9305100144
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: C1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Paul Dellinger
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

IF THEY DIDN'T SAY IT, MAYBE THEY SHOULD'VE

How could you not be curious about a title like that?

Which was the idea, of course, said Lee Johnson, the registered nurse who gave that talk Saturday at Wythe County Community Hospital's "Growing into Womanhood" program.

She used the title as a "carrot" for kids when she helped teach a night class on the facts of life 12 years ago. As school nurse for Wythe County, Johnson always has taught such classes to married couples only.

But still - five ways?

Well, there is the traditional way. Two others are artificial insemination and implementation. Then there is "splash pregnancy," from accidental climax.

The fifth way is using an ineffective method of birth control - which can include reliance on myths instead of facts, or simply on hope. The power of positive thinking is not enough, she said.

I would not have asked her about this - and you would not be reading it - if she hadn't come up with that title.

New River Valley author Sharyn McCrumb once used "Bimbos of the Death Star" for a writing exercise that was basically a joke. But the title provoked such interest that she ended up writing it as a novel ("Bimbos of the Death Sun," to avoid copyright arguments from George Lucas), which won a Mystery Writers Edgar Award.

It's not only titles that can be memorable. So can simple quotes.

Phineas T. Barnum will always be associated with "There's a sucker born every minute," whether or not he actually said it. And who can hear "Frankly, my dear . . . " without thinking of Rhett Butler?

Shakespeare is probably second only to the Bible as a source of quotes.

Who hasn't heard "Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them" from "Twelfth Night"? Or, "Neither a borrower, nor a lender be," from "Hamlet"?

I had, as far back as I can remember, with them being cited to make points, justify arguments or support deep philosophical thoughts. It was not until I saw the plays performed years ago at Barter Theatre that I found out Shakespeare had put them in the mouths of characters who were utter fools; they were meant as comedy, buffoonery, by no means as serious guides to life!

Roosevelt's "We have nothing to fear but fear itself," Churchill's offering the fighting spirit of the British nothing but "blood, sweat and tears," Truman's "The buck stops here" and Kennedy's "Ask not . . . " quotes all have been recycled - and, in fact, may have been recycled by those governmental leaders from earlier sources.

Some of the most famous quotes never happened.

Bogart didn't rasp "Play it again, Sam." Cagney never snarled "You dirty rat!" Cary Grant didn't say, "Judy, Judy, Judy." And Johnny Weissmuller never pontificated: "Me Tarzan, you Jane." William Shatner never even screamed "Scotty, beam me up!" - at least not on the "Star Trek" TV series.

My choice movie quote is from a picture so bad that it's not even listed in those increasingly thick movies-on-TV paperbacks, "The Thousand Eyes of Su Maru." I actually got out of bed before dawn when it turned up on early morning TV to make sure I'd heard it right years ago in a theater.

Sure enough: At the height of the pyrotechnic climax, Frankie Avalon warns George Nader that they have got to vacate the premises "before this whole volcano turns into an island!"

Paul Dellinger covers Southwest Virginia for this newspaper.