Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, May 13, 1993 TAG: 9305130400
SECTION: NEIGHBORS PAGE: S-8 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MELANIE S. HATTER STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Tim, 16, saw the man, who looked to Tim like a teen-ager, in a grocery store while shopping with his mother.
The man was a quadriplegic.
"I think of that when I'm having a bad day," Tim said. "It puts my life back in perspective."
Tim had been down on himself for not getting the grades he wanted in school, he said, and the man made Tim see that other people have more immediate concerns than grades. He was spurred to review his priorities and decided to give of himself for others.
"I felt like I should put something back in [to society], do my part as a citizen." It may sound corny, he said, but it's true.
Tim volunteers where he feels he can help others, including at Roanoke Area Ministries, and especially for people his own age. One of those places is TRUST Teenline, in the Trust House at 404 Elm Ave.
Tim is one of 30 volunteers with the hot line, which matches teen ears with teen callers in need of someone to talk to.
It's a popular program with teens, and many volunteers are turned away because so many apply, said Kathy LaMotte, program coordinator. Teenline requires at least 30 volunteers who each spend a minimum of two evenings - from 6 to 10 p.m. - each month waiting by the phone.
And waiting is what many volunteers often do.
The number and frequency of calls vary each night. There are the occasional crank calls, but often the evening goes by with no calls. Yet, teens remain loyal and return.
The job satisfaction comes with that long-awaited call and the anonymous voice at the end of the line coming to a resolution with a problem. Every call is considered confidential. The volunteers often use pseudonyms - this story is using only their first names - to protect their identities.
Crystal, a senior at Northside High School, received her first call the first night she volunteered. The caller was pregnant and wanted to tell her mother but was afraid.
"She knew what she wanted to do." All she needed was to talk it through with someone. After 20 minutes on the phone with the pregnant teen, Crystal said, the girl had confidence to do what she thought best. And that was enough to please Crystal.
In the nine months or so since she began volunteering, Crystal has learned that what may not be a big deal to one person may be to another.
"You shouldn't take it for granted that because you know [how to deal with it] that they know how to deal with it."
Volunteers are trained "to be a sounding board, not Ann Landers," LaMotte said. The most common reaction from people is that they need to solve the person's problem, but Teenline volunteers are trained to listen and encourage callers to talk and work out their own problems.
Training involves 20 hours of classroom work learning listening skills and problem solving, plus eight hours of role-playing to practice how to respond to callers with a variety of problems. Volunteers take turns playing the caller and the receiver. They focus on two popular issues: suicide and relationships.
During one training session, Tim's caller explained that her boyfriend was pressing her to have sex.
"I thought, `Whoa!' " he said. It seemed way over his head. But he wasn't there to give advice, simply to let the girl talk, he said.
Teenline, in conjunction with Roanoke County Schools' Natural Helper peer counseling program and licensed counselor Hildy Getz, produced a video that uses teens to demonstrate peer counseling skills. The video, "Listen to Me: Teen-ager Peer Helping Skills" targets peer-helping programs and sells for $99.
Tim joined the program in the fall. When his first night ended without a phone call, "I was kinda glad and sorta let down," he said. His third night by the phones was Christmas Eve. "Holidays can be depressing for many people," especially if they are alone, Tim said. But no one called that night, either.
Len also volunteered Christmas Eve. A senior at Patrick Henry High who attends CITY School, Len needed an internship for a psychology class and was encouraged by a friend to volunteer with Teenline.
"It's really neat to help someone out," he said. "You talk to these people, and they're really confused. You don't have to talk them through it, they just talk aloud."
The biggest fear for most volunteers is getting a caller considering suicide and not being able to stop them.
Carlette, 17, has had more than one suicide call. "One guy hung up on me," she said. "I was trying to keep him on the phone." He never called her again, and Carlette fears he may have gone through with his threat.
She joined the program when she was in the 10th grade and has been surprised by the calls describing child abuse. "With teens, you don't expect them to be abused," she said.
more information on Teenline, call 345-4190.
by CNB