
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: FRIDAY, July 2, 1993                   TAG: 9307020028
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: B1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

SORRY FOLKS . . . NOTHING JUICY HERE

The gentleman whose face appears with this column will be vacating this space for a month, or maybe a few weeks, or most likely 34 days, though this is sort of up in the air just this moment, and he doesn't want to waste your time with the details.

Before he leaves, he wants to dispel several rumors regarding this abrupt disappearance.

It involves:

No 28-day programs.

No cosmetic surgery.

Or sex changes.

No angry advertisers.

No angry publishers.

No angry editors.

No angry subscribers.

Well, not that angry.

No intelligence-gathering operations overseas.

No plots involving the Lincoln or Holland tunnels, the United Nations building or the World Trade Center.

No minor league contracts with the St. Louis Cardinals.

Sigh.

No personal tragedies.

No more re-evaluation of the general course of life than usual.

No book contracts.

Sigh.

Nothing involving NASA.

No job interviews at big-city dailies.

No organ transplants, either incoming or outgoing, which means there won't be any brain implanting - I SAW YOU THINKING THAT, YOU - YOU, THE GUY OVER THERE IN THE RED SHIRT!

No representing George Lynch in contract talks with the Los Angeles Lakers.

Sigh.

No haircuts.

No National Guard duty.

No carpal tunnel syndrome.

No.

Truth is, he'll be working on other things right here at the same old place, still available for chats on the horn, still open to the occasional (friendly only, please) visit.

Oh, and nothing involving Wasena Park.

by CNB