Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, July 15, 1993 TAG: 9307150448
SECTION: PARENT'S GUIDE PAGE: PGE-11 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: By SARAH COX
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
The parents, the teachers and the children were very involved and it seemed to be getting excellent scholastic results. Every so often, he said, he'll read something similar about another new development for a school system.
But, "the bottom line is parental involvement is part of those programs as much as the new computer approach," Kunkle said. And he believes parental involvement needs to start when children are at an early age.
"I find that the real important time to motivate school is from the start - kindergarten, first and second grades. Children start to think school is important to their parents, and therefore it's important to them," he said.
In those early years, Kunkle said there are a plethora of opportunities for parents to get an inside glimpse of the system at work, and show their children that they're interested - eating lunch with them, going to the back-to-school PTA meeting, being a homeroom mother and chaperoning a field trip.
By the time the child reaches middle school, said Kunkle, it's going to be hard to suddenly do an about-face and get involved if you haven't already done so. Then, children are carried away on the tide of peer pressure.
"It's typical for a student to pass right by in the hallway without acknowledging his parent," he said. But he believes it's just as important to stay involved and show your concern. Constantly talk and ask questions, look for feedback from children, and if you start doing this at an early age, Kunkle said, they'll be used to it.
Another suggestion he made was to use the school resources - for example, the guidance counselors. If there's a problem, make an appointment with the teacher or counselor. Or sit through your child's classes one day - Kunkle said he's heard that's a sure-fire way of quelling disciplinary problems.
"In high school, the guidance counselor is absolutely important, especially with college placement. It's very, very helpful to know who that person is. I would highly suggest sitting down with the student and counselor and the transcript and looking ahead at college possibilities, said Kunkle.
Dick Kepley, guidance counselor at Patrick Henry High School, has been in this field for 20 years. He believes that, as Kunkle suggested, laying the groundwork of parental involvement is crucial.
"You've got to, even before this point, get the child interested in reading at a very early age. It'll be easier to be involved later on if you get him interested in books at an early age."
He said usually parents who are involved in elementary school stick with it, although when a parent does let involvement slacken up, kids pick up on this.
"By staying involved, kids are going to know what parents are going to expect," he said. In addition, children are going to realize that parents and teachers get to know each other. They also see parents going to school events, know that parents visit their classrooms and will therefore find out what the child is doing.
For parents, this can be an eye-opener. It shows them the stresses of their children's high school years, the time pressures and the peer pressures. The worst thing a parent can say, said Kepley (and he says this from experience) is "it's his education and it's his career."
Youngsters in high school need direction. Every child has to study every night and the parent has to say, `this is the way things are going to be, because we love you.' Start early and they know to expect it," said Kepley.
Counselors, according to Kepley, are the lifeline to college.
"Down the road, we're going to be writing recommendations and changing their schedules. I'd much rather have a parent calling me and telling me what they don't like. The worst thing that happens is for a parent to say `call me,' " he said, citing the overabundance of phone calls he has to make on a daily basis.
"We like phone calls. What makes me upset is at the end of the year when a parent says, `I didn't know that.' "
A lot of times, said Kunkle, parents are too busy to discipline or to remain involved in their child's education. They want their children to do well, but they need to realize that they have to spend time with them.
Parents, he said, must realize that a child's job is school and that is their priority. One way to get a peek at your child's private life is to invite their friends over. You'll find out soon enough who they're with and what they're doing. And sometimes, he said, the simplest things are the best, like showing up for lunch.
Kepley said that when parents don't care, it shows in a child. "You've got a lot of people out there who never cross the door and often those are the ones who need the help the most," he said.
Annie Harmon, ombudsman with Roanoke City Schools, is the liaison between parents and the school system. She is involved in problem-solving and mediation, and making sure that children's rights are not violated. She says parental involvement has evolved over the years (Harmon has been an educator for 24 years).
"Before, teachers were looked at as the final word on everything. Now, parents are taking a more proactive role. They want to know what's going on in the classroom and they're holding schools more accountable," she said.
Although Harmon said their volunteer network is wonderful, some parents can't be involved as much because they work or are single parents or both. And some, she said, "don't know how to use the system to their advantage. I think they would be more involved if they felt more comfortable with it. I talked to some parents recently on a committee and they said parents need to get over the intimidation of getting involved in school. But to do that, parents need to know how the system works."
First, teachers want involvement, she said. Parents should support their child's education, check their homework, sit down with them and discus the kinds of things they learned in school. School is not always easy for kids, Harmon said, and teachers want to know that as long as the child is putting forth an effort, they will.
Vicky Cox, a learning disabilities teacher with a Roanoke County elementary school, said she can start seeing gaps when both parents work and their children are raised to be too independent.
She believes parental involvement is integral because, "when mom went to work, school's didn't lower their expectations. They've raised their expectations. Some children are referred to special education when they don't have a learning disability, but because they don't have a support system."
Cox said parents are a teacher's most valuable resource, both in and out of school, and she echoed Kepley's sentiments about reading.
In addition, she believes parents should visit their children in school, get to know their teacher, and accept their responsibilities as a parent - i.e., "don't expect the school and teachers to take over all the obligations of parents. Basic discipline and respect need to begin at home," she said.
From Harmon's vantage point, she can see the results of non-involvement. Absenteeism can become chronic if parents are sending signals to their child that school isn't important.
Another problem is miscommunication. Just because a child is sent home with a note doesn't mean the parent will receive or read it. Harmon suggests that parents ask specific questions about school to get the child talking. Have a school calendar on hand, and call the school office periodically. And do a daily review of their work, whether they have homework or not.
"If children know that parents are comfortable with school, they're going to be comfortable with school," she said.
In pre-teen and teen-age years, children may become embarrassed by the presence of their parents in school. Parents can get around this by being present at awards day, PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences and field trips.
by CNB