Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, September 8, 1993 TAG: 9309080326
SECTION: NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL PAGE: A-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MARGARET EDDS STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: RICHMOND LENGTH: Long
A 23-year-old lesbian mother's sexual relationship with her live-in lover is both illegal and immoral and "renders her an unfit parent,"a Henrico County judge ruled Tuesday.
Circuit Judge Buford M. Parsons Jr. upheld a lower court ruling transferring custody of 2-year-old Tyler Doustou from his mother, Sharon Lynne Bottoms, to his grandmother, Kay Bottoms.
The decision followed an emotional, five-hour trial. American Civil Liberties Union lawyers, handling what they view as a landmark case involving homosexual rights in Virginia, promised an appeal.
Parsons said Sharon Bottoms may visit Tyler two days each week, but that the child cannot spend even one night in her mother's apartment. An ACLU lawyer said that interpretation of the law, if applied elsewhere, would give Virginia perhaps the nation's toughest stance against the rights of homosexual parents.
Donald K. Butler, who represented Sharon Bottoms, warned that the court has opened a Pandora's box in which any gay or lesbian parent's fitness could be challenged purely on the basis of sexual orientation.
"It sets a dangerous precedent if you're going to take children from homosexual parents without any proof that the relationship is harmful to the child," he said.
Kay Bottoms' attorney and friends argued that the judge acted in Tyler's best interests and that the judge was swayed by more than Sharon's sexual preferences.
"I doubt seriously in the state of Virginia today that you'd find this factual situation one time in a million," said Richard R. Ryder, who represented Kay Bottoms.
In ruling from the bench, Parsons said he was affected by "all the circumstances in the case," including testimony that Tyler learned curse words during visitations with his mother and that he sometimes called Bottoms' lover, April Wade, "Da-da."
Parsons appeared also to have been influenced by the recommendation of an independent attorney that custody be awarded to the grandmother. Attorney David Boone, appointed Tyler's guardian in the case, said he found "no question that Sharon loves Tyler very much."
But he also termed her "an immature young lady" who has "never really completed anything. . . . She's jumped from one relationship to another." A 12th-grade dropout, Sharon Bottoms has a spotty employment record and is working part-time as a grocery store cashier.
Even so, Parsons left little doubt that his principal concern was Bottoms' yearlong relationship with Wade, a 27-year-old restaurant worker.
Under questioning, Bottoms testified that she and Wade "hugged and kissed" in Tyler's presence, that Wade sometimes patted her on the bottom while the child was present, and that his crib once had been in the bedroom they shared.
Bottoms also admitted to engaging in oral sex, which is a felony in Virginia.
"In the opinion of this court, her conduct is immoral," Parsons said. "In the opinion of this court, her conduct renders her an unfit parent."
Despite testimony from a University of Virginia psychologist that "not a single study suggests children of homosexual parents would be worse off developmentally than children of heterosexual parents," Parsons said he was guided by a different view expressed in a 1985 Virginia Supreme Court decision.
In that case, Roe v. Roe, the justices found that living in a household headed by a homosexual couple is "an intolerable burden" on a child. The result is likely to be "social condemnation," adversely affecting his relationships with peers and society in general.
During the afternoon hearing, the court heard lengthy testimony from both women, as well as from relatives and friends.
Sharon Bottoms' younger brother, Kenneth Wayne Bottoms, answered "No, sir" when asked if his sister was a good parent.
But Tyler's father, Dennis Doustou, appeared in court ready to testify in support of giving custody to his former wife. Parsons, noting that Doustou's only contribution to his son's upbringing has been one $65 check, would not allow him to express an opinion.
Sharon Bottoms testified that she was sexually abused between the ages of 12 and 17 by her mother's former live-in boyfriend. The abuse occurred perhaps 800 times without her mother's knowledge, she said.
Parsons ruled out of order a question implying that there was little moral or cultural difference between Sharon Bottoms' living with a homosexual lover in the 1990s and her mother's longstanding, unwed relationship in the 1970s and 1980s.
Kay Bottoms testified that she was uncertain whether the abuse had occurred, and her attorney questioned how Sharon could have had unprotected sex 800 times without getting pregnant.
Asked for guidance about Tyler's interests, Boone termed the case as difficult as any of the 13 capital murder cases he has handled.
The child has a loving relationship with both his mother and grandmother, Boone testified. The lawyer said he was guided ultimately by the sense that "two adults raising a child without benefit of marriage bothers me."
by CNB