Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, September 19, 1993                   TAG: 9309190015
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: B-1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: ED SHAMY
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

CALLING ALL WARPED MINDS: WHAT THE @#$%&# IS IT?

What sort of deranged logo-meister would come up with a design like this, and what message does it bring - or try to bring - to us?

Welcome to the extraordinary oddness of the What-the-@#$%&#-Does-That-Mean Contest II. You stand a much better chance of winning this strangefest than you do of being struck by lightning, which is more than you can say about most of the games the Virginia Lottery sponsors.

To play, your entry MUST be on my desk by Friday. Barring a last-minute extension (which is likely), entries received after that date will be recycled into egg cartons, grocery bags, jet aircraft wings and other useful consumer items.

In your entry, tell me what the @#$%&# you think this strange geometric assortment means. Empty the warped contents of your mind toward me: Ed Shamy, King of @#$%&#, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke 24010. Include your name, mailing address and phone number. In the unlikely event that you're selected a winner of this prestigious and historic event, I will contact you in my own good time.

At stake, as always, are very valuable prizes.

Praise already has flooded in for this most recent round of @#$%&#.

Here are some of the kind words contestants have sent in along with their entries:

"My teacher made me do this foolish contest, so I guess I'll do it . . . " writes a Troutville lad.

"After consuming large quantities of Mexican food and beer, my husband and I are finding the #$%&# thing more and more interesting," says a Roanoke spouse.

"This contest is a trick," states a Radford guy who doesn't buy for a second the lone-gunman theory.

"I have spent many long nights in bed, thinking into the wee hours of the morning, `What the #$%&# does that mean?' " writes a Roanoke chap with bigger problems than even he may know.

"I was almost too embarrassed to respond to your contest . . . " adds another Big Licker. He overcame his embarrassment to submit an entry that wasn't all that bad.

"After laboriously contemplating the Thing and with the eye of experience [old age] . . ." wrote a confessed old person from Salem.

This the great fabric of our place, in our times. Can't help but wonder why the moths didn't eat these parts, but you can contribute to this great and varied voice.

You can enter What-the-@#$%&#-is-That-II.