Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SATURDAY, November 6, 1993                   TAG: 9311060110
SECTION: NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL                    PAGE: A1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Associated Press
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

BISHOPS URGE MEN TO DUMP MACHO STEREOTYPES

Women, be not afraid to get mad at your husband, or to tell him to spend equal time with the kids.

In perhaps their most comprehensive attempt to address relations between the sexes, a committee of U.S. bishops is proposing a document on marriage that encourages Roman Catholics to move beyond the sexual stereotypes they grew up with.

The bishops draw from their own failed effort to develop a pastoral letter on women, and from the growing men's movement, to encourage Catholics to strive for equality of the sexes in dividing household and parental responsibilities.

"Marriage is a partnership of a man and woman equal in dignity and value," the bishops state in "Follow the Way of Love: A Pastoral Message of the U.S. Catholic Bishops to Families."

Three years in development, the statement from the prelates' Committee on Marriage and Family will be presented to the full National Conference of Catholic Bishops at its annual meeting in Washington on Nov. 15-18.

If approved, Cardinal Joseph Bernardin of Chicago will formally present it to the United Nations on Dec. 7 as the bishops' contribution to the U.N.'s 1994 International Year of the Family.

The statement's central theme is the importance of friends, family and the parish community in helping married couples work through difficult times when possible.

In a sign of the recent warming between psychology and religion, the bishops also encourage married couples to seek not only pastoral but other professional counseling.

But some of the document's strongest language comes in a separate section on "mutuality" that encourages men and women to move beyond gender stereotypes.

In language sometimes reminiscent of the nascent men's movement, the bishops encourage men to be nurturing parents and sensitive spouses.

"Sharing feelings and a willingness to be vulnerable can be difficult, particularly for those of us raised in the `strong and silent' tradition. Men in all walks of life seem to have been influenced by this unwritten norm," the bishops said.

The bishops have a similar message for women against traditional roles that encourage them to be passive in the face of conflict.

"Women who accept their own self-worth are more able to express their beliefs, ideas and feelings, even painful ones such as anger," the bishops said.