Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, November 8, 1993                   TAG: 9312300032
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: JOE KENNEDY
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

IT'S THE SEASON TO, WELL, WAIT FOR THE SEASON

Why not, I asked, complete our Christmas shopping by the end of October? We could make purchases of quality in a leisurely environment. Instead of killing ourselves with exhaustion, like so many other people, we could spend December with our children at home by the tree, relaxing and enjoying the charms of the season.

Sharon said it made sense to her, and so we agreed that this year we would be organized enough to get it done.

October has ended and I can report that the early completion of one's Christmas shopping does indeed make life easier. The stores were not crowded; the selection was ample; the sales personnel were not overwhelmed with customers; the service was brisk and efficient. Shopping early was one of the wisest decisions we've ever made.

I only wish that we had done it.

October is gone but our Christmas lists remain unwritten. Our closets conceal no presents waiting to be wrapped, and our minds harbor no illusions about getting to the chore before the nightmarish days of mid-December.

I suppose we could blame each other for this fix, but the truth is that neither of us ever mentioned our pledge once we returned from the summer camping trip. Instead we became immersed in the usual daily activities of running children to and from ball games and ballet classes, driving ourselves to and from our jobs and spending our weekends delivering kids to the birthday parties and ourselves to the social activities that constitute a full, if not always satisfying, life.

Somewhere, I am sure, a husband and wife are reading these words and feeling incalculably superior to us. This couple has not only bought but also wrapped and addressed their presents to loved ones at home and away. They have already cleaned up their garden and sown a cover crop, figured up the tax refund they'll receive next spring and used it to plot out an extensive vacation for next summer.

These are the people who arise, whistling, every morning, and spend each moment pursuing valuable, if largely trivial, activities until they tumble, self-satisfied, into their pristine sheets every night.

These are not our people. Our people are those who write list after list of jobs to be done, and then misplace the lists; who read articles and books about personal organization systems, and then stack them atop the spreading masses of other publications that occupy the flat spaces of their lives; who vow to rise early with a smile, but hit ``snooze'' with a scowl.

We know that we have failed on our Christmas shopping project, and that, with a little focusing and the setting of reasonable deadlines, we still might avoid the rush. We know that perfection, once achieved, would prove eminently pleasing to us. It might even become a habit.

We also know that, come December, we will be among the harried masses grabbing gifts off depleted shelves, and wrapping them in the early hours of Christmas Day.

We know these things, and we complain about them, but we will never change them, no matter what we might say in August. Heart-attack shopping is one of our family traditions. To behave otherwise would be like serving ravioli for the holiday meal - different, yes, and maybe even enjoyable. But it's not us.

See you at the mall.

\ "Time Out" is a new column that will appear every two weeks. Joe Kennedy will look at life in the middle years - marriage, family and contemporary events - from a perspective both serious and light.