ROANOKE TIMES

                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, November 17, 1993                   TAG: 9311170203
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: C-3   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: STEPHEN FOSTER STAFF WRITER
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium


`MARRIED' GAYS TELL STUDENTS OF STIGMA OF HOMOSEXUALITY

To be able to decide whether or not to be gay - "What an odd concept that would be," Bob Paris said.

"I was born a gay male," Rod Jackson said.

Together they are Bob and Rod Jackson-Paris, and together they spoke at Radford University on Tuesday night on what it means to be gay, in love and married.

Entitling their discussion "Gay Rights, Human Rights and Dignity," the couple talked about the stigma of homosexuality and how it tortures youths who know they're gay, and gays' battle to live normal lives as adults.

Their talk - and classic good looks - brought admiration and plenty of cheers from the audience in Preston Auditorium.

"The absolute, bottom-line reason is love," said Paris on why they're together and why they talk to others about it.

Paris, 1983's Mr. America and Mr. Universe, and Jackson, a social-worker-turned-international-model who has appeared in Playgirl, met in Colorado in 1986.

A few months after Paris "came out," or acknowledged his homosexuality publicly in a 1989 "Ironman" article, they decided to wed.

"Just because I was gay didn't mean I didn't want to fall in love or live my version of the American dream," Paris said.

They linked their last names and were "married" in a gay Unitarian ceremony, a marriage that is not legally recognized.

"To tell you that life's been easier or a bed of roses [since] would not be honest," Jackson said. "All society is built on a heterosexual presumption . . . and if you're not, then something's wrong with you."

They told stories of growing up in "normal" households in small farming communities, each active in high school sports and theatre, neither feeling that they fit in.

"I felt like I was living a lie the whole time," Jackson said. "When you're gay, you're all alone."

Both said they had resigned themselves to focusing their lives on their careers, with little hope for a partner, when they met. Both said it was love at first sight.

They had to battle - then learned to use - publicity to further their cause.

Since their marriage, they have campaigned to inform people of gay issues across the country.

They've appeared on "Oprah" and "Donahue," been written up in USA Today and other major newspapers and presented their "out and proud" message on public television and in a mail-order video.

They've formed a "Be True to Yourself" foundation in support of gay, lesbian and bisexual youth.

They've also been photographed nude in a book, "Duo." Two other books are due out within a year.

"We decided that we wanted to put a face on the monster" that people perceive homosexuality to be, Jackson said.

And although their marriage has propelled them into a life that keeps them on the road 200 days a year, Jackson spoke for both: "I think it's really strange that when two people love each other, that we all have to sit around and figure out why they've done this.

"Love is such a universal thing."



 by CNB