Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, December 18, 1993 TAG: 9312180262
SECTION: SPECTATOR PAGE: S-13 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: LYNN ELBER ASSOCIATED PRESS
DATELINE: LOS ANGELES LENGTH: Medium
The actress-singer, who underwent brain operations for two aneurysms in 1992, is also savoring just being alive.
"My focus is my life," says Carter, taking a studio lunch break from "Mr. Cooper," in which she plays tough school principal P.J. Moore to series star Mark Curry's mellow Mark Cooper.
"My priorities are different," she says. "Living in a mansion doesn't mean anything to me. I joke about wanting a rich man. I actually don't. Right now, my priorities are to take care of my children.
"I want to see my sons date," Carter adds. Then, with an impish smile: "So I can stop it."
Carter, whose daughter Tracy is in her 20s, adopted Joshua, nearly 4, and Daniel, 3, as infants. She was married at the time, but is now raising them on her own, with help from several carefully chosen godparents.
"I got in touch with my very best friends . . . and told 'em I was interested in adopting a baby, and would they be godfathers," Carter says. "That doesn't mean just gifts once a year, but getting actively involved in their lives.
"I have support because I asked for it."
That sums up her take-charge approach to living, she says. Her legal affairs, her family life and her opinions are all in order.
Here are snippets of the Nell Carter philosophy:
On marriage: "I'm not marriage material. I find it more romantic when they (men) leave. They're always more loving, more gentle, when they leave, and when they come back."
On dating: "The chase is good. The first date is always excellent because you're on your best behavior."
On being a single mother: "You raise 'em by yourself anyway."
On her conversion to Judaism, more than a decade ago: "I needed to know where God was, and I went back to the basics."
On wealth: "We lived in a mansion, and I noticed when I got sick in the mansion that didn't make people want to come around any more."
Her spirited nature helped her fight her way back after her illness. The aneurysms, weakenings of an artery wall, struck two months apart in July and September 1992.
"I wanted to go back to work," she says. "I never had a doubt that I would. I had a doubt that I could, because I couldn't remember anything at first."
She found her short-term memory damaged initially. Even trying to read a few lines of a book was painful and difficult, she says. There were also problems with her equilibrium that made walking difficult.
"The scariest moment for me was not the walking," she says. "I figured if I can't walk, so be it. The scariest moment was not knowing if I was going to remember things."
Her children bolstered her, as did the plight of other patients.
"You go to rehab and see sickly older women out there fighting, fighting to live," she says. "You have to try."
Carter, who won a 1983 Tony Award for her turn in the musical "Ain't Misbehavin' " and who performs in concert, says she regained her singing voice without effort. And she put it to the test quickly.
Last March, just about six months after her release from the hospital, she took part in the Academy Awards ceremony. An estimated audience of 1 billion saw her sing the nominated "Friend Like Me" from "Aladdin."
Did Carter view that as her dramatic return to show business, a way to let folks know she was back? "No," she responds.
"I don't think that way," she says.
She doesn't even know how long her contract is for "Mr. Cooper." She starred for six years on the NBC sitcom "Gimme a Break."
"If I'm not going to work, then fine, I'll leave the country," she says. "If I can't survive in the business, I have no qualms about being a housekeeper."
That may be part of the new attitude she says the illness brought her. She has little patience for those who aren't forthright, and a new appreciation for what's truly important.
"If I got fired tomorrow, it would hurt my feelings," she says. "I would be scared about what I'd do financially. But I'd have whatever talent God gave me, and I would still have my children."
by CNB