Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, December 28, 1993 TAG: 9312280164
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: kathleen wilson
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
12 love letters, 11 crazy Santa's.
10 Macintoshes, 9 popcorn poppers, 8 prez notes, 7 dozen fish heads, 6 spelling tests, 5 TIMES EACH!, 4 candy canes, 3 point shots, 2 pizza guys.
And a Partridge Family CD.
At least that's the version Kevin Spencer's fifth-graders at Raleigh Court Elementary School were singing last Wednesday, just an hour before getting the heck out of there for the holidays.
In case you haven't figured it out already, members of the class wrote the song, too.
All 18 of `em.
When this version hits the radio airwaves, there could be some sort of messy legal battle over lyrical rights and who wrote what.
But remember how most all of the Beatles' songs were credited as John Lennon/Paul McCartney?
We'd better credit this song as Jake Bautista/Danny Cox/Eric Hannah/Chris Hough/Randy McCoy/Maurice Robinson/Nathan Settles/Jordan Sherwood/R.B. Terry/Josh Zayas/Ginny Armstrong/Amy Arthur/Laura Flack/Becky Harris/ Robyn Lyon/Tanisha Morris/Sarah Robinson/Nicole Thrasher.
It's important to give credit where credit is due. So, was anybody from the class not there?
"Who'd miss a Christmas party?" asked Amy.
"We also knew you were coming," added Jordan, the ultra-quick wit in the class who seems destined to be the next David Letterman.
It's Kevin Spencer's first year teaching, and he's mighty proud of his class. They were bright, well-behaved, and seemed to be having a lot of fun.
It didn't take much figuring to come up with who made the most noise.
Meet Danny Cox.
He's a freckle-faced redheaded 10-year-old with bright blue eyes and an engaging smile.
"I wrote the dozen fish heads line," he said proudly.
From the back of the room, the two room mothers and I agreed Danny is the guy we would have all had the secret crush on back when we were in school.
Danny never stops smiling - or talking, for that matter.
"I'm always in trouble and get sent to the back of the room," explained Danny without a bit of shame, ever smiling. "I talk too much."
"Show her your journal! Show her your journal!" encouraged several members of the class.
Although the class favorite is Danny's story about someone's dentures getting stuck in someone's leg, I liked his soap opera observations best.
"Soap operas are the dumbest thing since `Dragnet,"' he wrote. "Instead of just arguing, I think they should just get out the boxing gloves and start fighting.
"I also think someone should make a video game called `Mortal Soap Opera,' just like `Mortal Combat.' "
"Can't we PLEASE sing `Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer?"' the class begged.
Mr. Spencer nixed that idea, reminding them he'd declared December a nonviolence month.
Sarah slipped me some M&Ms on the sly from under her desk.
Nicole added a seat near hers and invited me to join her.
Tanisha sweetly and silently slipped a cupcake on my plate when she noticed I hadn't seen them.
But the big treat was hot Tombstone Pizza, which Mr. Spencer bartered for by baby-sitting Stuart Atha's children for a weekend while he and his wife went out of town.
Kevin Spencer's often funny, but always gentle methods of discipline were quite entertaining.
During one game where the class was supposed to be guessing a word from the clues another student was giving, Josh burst out:
"I know! It's SNOT!"
"Josh, go to the bench," admonished Mr. Spencer, shaking his head.
Josh headed toward the bench at the back of the room.
"No, if you'd raised your hand and said that, I'd only be halfway mad," he explained.
"But, Josh, you didn't even raise your hand!"
In the midst of all this bedlam, Mr. Spencer opened a sleighful of gifts.
"I've been mugged!" he joked, looking at the collection surrounded by wrapping paper.
"You've also been framed!" observed R.B., pointing out a picture frame and later musing that grown-ups aren't interested in toys.
"They're only interested in clothes."
by CNB