
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: FRIDAY, March 11, 1994                   TAG: 9403120010
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: WENDI GIBSON RICHERT
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

HEAR THIS, MR. WEBSTER

According to a quartet of women, Mr. Webster's first crack at publishing the English language in ABC order was adequate at best.

Higher his score would have been if only he'd included the words of, well, women.

Lisa Cofield, Debbie Dingerson, Maia Lacher and Lea Rush sought to correct the 1831 dictionary's oversight with their 152-word ``Mrs. Webster's Dictionary'' (Great Quotations Publishing, $5.95).

Among their better definitions are:

Bar-be-que: You bought groceries, washed lettuce, chopped tomatoes, diced onions, marinated meat and cleaned everything up, but he ``made dinner.''

Bra: A piece of clothing you can't wait to get, then spend the rest of your life trying to figure out how to do without it.

High Heels: A method of torture, a tool, a lawn aerator.

Then there are these definitions (we'll hold onto Mr. Webster's for a while longer, thank you!):

Airhead: What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Balance the Checkbook: To go to the cash machine and hit ``inquire.''

Exercise: To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Gray Hair: This doesn't exist, and Mrs. Webster is willing to pay big bucks so others will believe it.

Work: The hum-drum stuff that interrupts coffee breaks, lunches, shopping and personal phone calls.

by CNB