Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, March 16, 1994                   TAG: 9403160149
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

CHAIN SAW'S BEEN LOVED FOR MORE THAN ITS LOYALTY

It was horrible finding it in the basement, lying in a pool of its own bar oil.

This little beauty - I'm not sure how long its bar is - has seen us through some pretty bad times, and there it lay on the basement floor, alone beside the larger saw.

I like this saw not just for its sense of loyalty. Its weight is such that you can use it sometimes for 45 minutes without your back going out or your arms shaking for hours afterward. You don't scream in pain and bother the neighbors when you're using this baby.

There was brush and wood yet to be cut when it went down last week, but I didn't blame it. It had done good, honest work until it literally lost its vital fluids.

Saws aren't like computers. They don't give you all this smart lip when they're about to go down. They just go. Sure, I know there was a lot of blue smoke before the saw died, but I'd seen that before.

One of the embarrassing things was that the saw was filthy when it sickened all alone in the basement.

You take a saw like that into the shop, and it's like taking a dirty child to the emergency room.

I told the guy at the shop I was sorry about the dirt. It happened so fast, I said. He said not to worry. He said a lot of people bring in dirty chain saws.

I guess he's right. It's not like telling a kid to wear clean underwear in case they are in some accident.

You can all say I've finally stopped playing with a full deck if you want to, but I almost told the guy at the shop to be gentle because this was the first time the little saw had been in the shop for a major ailment.

I'm glad I didn't do that. All I need at my age is to be arrested in a chain-saw chop after telling the cops this saw is like a son to me. Not to mention the straitjacket later on.

A young woman who had bought in another ailing saw tried to cheer me up. She said chains saws have their limits like everything else. She was kind. But it didn't help much.

In the meantime, I'll be using the larger, 16-inch saw. It's heavy, and I've always questioned its loyalty.

Boy, if there's one thing I hate, it's a chain saw you can 't trust.