
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: THURSDAY, September 1, 1994                   TAG: 9410130019
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A18   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: 
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

LEARNING LESSONS IN HATE

CHILDREN can be cruel to other children, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes because they do and say what pops into their heads.

They adore certain words - those referring to bodily excretions are particular favorites - and they are wonderfully creative in using these in rhymes, malapropisms, non sequiturs, jibes and taunts, and will do so, tirelessly, until they become hysterically giggly, or someone cries.

No one should want to stifle kids' spirit by indoctrinating political correctness, much less trying to enforce it via laws or speech codes.

But even very young children need to be taught to respect other individuals, of whatever age, and however different from themselves. They need to learn the difference between playful teasing and hurtful, hate-filled deeds and words.

Sad to say, as a letter to the editor on this page today reminds, not all children are being taught this. Some seem to be taught from a dictionary of adult intolerance that defines and targets others for intentional cruelty.

The letter is from the mother of two boys, ages 8 and 11, who, in her words, have been ``relentlessly harassed'' by other schoolchildren - for no other reason than that the family's last name is Gay. ``One can only wonder," writes the mother, Patricia Gay, "where and how" her kids' tormentors "learned to behave in such a manner.''

Where and how indeed. From the televangelists and radio talk-show hosts, who have made fear and loathing of homosexuals a cultural and political rallying cry? From the politicians, whose social lexicons have, of course, been purged of crude epithets, but who use code phrases and jokes about guys wearing earrings? From the rap artists, who pepper lyrics of their popular songs with such terms as ``bitch,'' ``nigger,'' and ``faggot''?

Or, perhaps, from what they hear at the family dinner table?

Numerous bad winds foster a climate of prejudice, and various characters fan the flames. But from whatever sources, mean-spirited, ugly name-calling shouldn't be dismissed as harmless behavior that youngsters will outgrow.

A Roanoke man convicted last week of setting fire to the home of a transvestite was once a kid. The same climate that helped shape the sentiment attributed to him - ``I think all these faggots should burn'' - also contributes to the suffering of two schoolchildren named Gay, and of many adults who don't have the name Gay, but who are.

Children aren't born hateful: Meanness and bigotry are learned behaviors. Unless we want a cramped future riven with pervasive prejudice and violent hate crimes, all of us - parents, teachers and other adults - had best help today's children understand that intolerance is wrong.

As another letter writer on today's page, Gwen Aboudara, observes: "If we fail to speak out against such evil actions, we deserve the society we will get."

by CNB