Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, September 18, 1994                   TAG: 9409170008
SECTION: BUSINESS                    PAGE: F-4   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Camille Wright Miller
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

MANAGER NEEDS TO REMEMBER THE TEAM AS WELL AS ITS STAR

A: If teams are to work well, efforts of the team as a whole must be rewarded. Focusing too much positive attention on one individual can fragment a team.

Gloria Reiske, a licensed clinical social worker practicing in Roanoke and president of Women in Networking, recommends talking with your supervisor. Reiske cautions that you meet in private because the issue is really between you and your supervisor.

Reiske counsels beginning by "not placing blame on the supervisor. In placing blame, more conflict is added. Instead, look for the source of the problem." You should, Reiske suggests, "use assertive `I' statements and open-ended questions. Begin your conversation with, for example, `At the last meeting, I felt I was singled out as a special member. Is there a reason this occurred?''' Reiske believes that conflict is "often resolved through clarification and open-ended questions allow clarification."

Once your supervisor has provided clarification, Reiske recommends "explaining your feelings about your role on the team and how you feel isolated from team members when singled out for praise in front of them." She also encourages acknowledging appreciation for the positive feedback. Follow with a request that future individual feedback be given to you in private.

Once you and your supervisor have resolved this issue, your co-workers will gradually leave this conflict behind. Be patient with them.

Q: My supervisor gives me unrealistic deadlines and is furious when I can't meet them.

A: Negotiations for project deadlines are best done at the beginning of a project.

Review projects you've completed in the past year. Summarize levels of complexity, difficulty and amount of staff support needed to bring them to closure. With each, list the actual number of work days each project took. Next, critically evaluate the work and determine if there were ways to complete projects sooner.

Once you've analyzed past projects, develop a chart that shows all data. Meet with your supervisor and suggest the chart be used for gauging future project timelines. Note projects that could have been completed sooner, but were delayed and why. Honesty about project delays contributes to a greater sense of trust and builds future flexibility.

When the next project is assigned, determine which previous project it matches most closely and negotiate deadlines using timeline data from successfully completed projects.

Finally, update your supervisor frequently on project progress. If delayed, notify your supervisor immediately. Whether you get additional project support or not, your supervisor will appreciate being part of the process rather than informed near deadline that the project is on overtime.

Q: In committee meetings, a co-worker continually makes comments which aren't relevant to the discussion. Isn't it OK just to listen?

A: Active listening requires that we stop talking and turn full attention to listening. Much additional information can be gained through listening to words, watching body posture, noting facial features, and evaluating tone of voice. Active listening is hard work; few co-workers engage in more than marginal listening, especially in committee meetings.

Rather than be annoyed at a vocal co-worker, consider that meetings carry several purposes. While the organizational purpose is to accomplish specific tasks, the human purpose is to provide an occasion for meeting social needs. Individuals who make many asides may be striving for more social conversation. One-on-one conversations immediately in advance of a meeting might be enough to satisfy the social need. Alternatively, acknowledging a comment and suggesting further discussion after the meeting may work for others.

Some individuals use asides as a means of getting attention; they feel honored if they have the attention of the group, even if for nonagenda items. Ignoring status-seekers works to silence some, asking for an opinion on agenda items helps focus others.

The committee chair determines the amount of freedom available in a meeting. If the chair is reluctant to silence or focus nonagenda commentators, use the speaker's time to practice active listening. You'll discover a great deal more about the speaker than the person meant to reveal.