Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, September 18, 1994 TAG: 9409200005
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 6 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Kevin Kittredge
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
But it would be hard to top the year in which Carolyn Mitchell was divorced and lost her job, and her father was murdered.
The killing, in March of 1992, was the worst.
``It was devastating, and hard to understand,'' Mitchell said of her father's murder by a family acquaintance, apparently for money. Garfield Otey, 79, was known to carry large amounts of cash in his pocket, police said at the time.
``My father was a good man,'' Mitchell said. ``You ask, `Why did this have to happen?' Sometimes I feel it's not for us to understand.''
She started out married life with stars in her eyes.
Mitchell - the former Carolyn Yvonne Otey of Vinton - was married to Randle Nelson Mitchell of Fort Riley, Kan., in a traditional ceremony at Bibleway Pentecostal Holiness Church.
She was a 1970 graduate of William Byrd High School. Randle Mitchell was in the military, but sometimes came to Roanoke to visit relatives. The two had met through a mutual acquaintance, Linda Journiette.
Was it love at first sight?
``On my part,'' Carolyn Mitchell laughed. ``I mean, he was a hunk.''
A big wedding was important to her - but she had to pay for it herself. Her father, a one-time coal miner, had always stressed to his children the importance of making their own way.
``My father always said, `Work,''' said Mitchell, the youngest of eight children. ``So I worked. I worked two jobs. It took five dollars to fill my Mustang up, five dollars to eat. I saved the rest.''
In the beginning married life was exotic. As a military wife, she lived in Germany for two years.
``I went to Dachau, and I was so young I didn't even know anything about Hitler,'' she said. She also visited Switzerland, England, Portugal and Spain.
She came home to Roanoke in 1977, to began a more prosaic existence as a typist for Travelers Insurance. She worked for the company until 1993 - when she was laid off.
Moral: ``You should never get too comfortable in a job,'' Mitchell said.
Her marriage ended the same year. She said in the end, their lives simply went in different directions.
Her ex-husband still lives in Roanoke. Attempts to contact him were unsuccessful. Carolyn Mitchell said he does not have a telephone, and that she sees him infrequently. On a later occasion, she said that she had spoken with him and he did not wish to be interviewed.
Mitchell described her ex-husband as ``a good person.''
``Marriage was beautiful,'' she said, ``but I think after awhile your priorities change, your goals change. You have to continue to go forward, regardless. My parents were married forever. I always thought when you get married you were married forever. But then I realized it's not that wonderful all the time.
``There were disagreements. Not fights. But I feel like two people should not be together if the bond is gone and you're not happy. He was the person I fell in love with. I still love him as an individual. But love does not feed you and take care of you. ... I don't blame anyone. Sometimes you just grow apart.''
She is currently self-employed as an independent agent for Primerica Financial Services.
She also devotes as much time as she can to their 11-year-old daughter, Tiffany - a budding track star who recently garnered three gold medals at the Commonwealth Games. ``I try to stay involved in everything she does,'' Mitchell said. ``I mean, I am there.''
Her father's murder is something she still prefers not to talk much about.
``I try not to think of the bad things that happened, because if you do it will really hurt too much,'' Mitchell said.
Still, hard experience has not left her bitter.
``I have a strong will,'' Mitchell said. ``You have to be a strong-minded person and have God in your life, or you will lose it. My goals now are to be there for my daughter, and to raise her the best way possible. And to get my business going.
``People always ask you if you could change things,'' Mitchell said. ``I wouldn't change my life. I feel like I've been blessed.''
She paused. ``If I thought I could bring my father back, I would do that.''
by CNB