Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, September 23, 1994 TAG: 9409230123
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: B-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: By LESLIE TAYLOR STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
They gather every Monday evening around a long, thick table in the community room of the Crystal Tower office building in downtown Roanoke.
Usually, there is no happy talk, no laughter. Usually, the tone is somber as they go around the table, sharing tales that would make most people cringe: the woman whose husband held her head underwater; the woman whose ex-husband stalks her, though the marriage has long been over; the woman who loaded a .44 and put it to her temple, figuring death was preferable to an abusive marriage.
But this week, the Monday evening meeting of the Women's Resource Center support group - comprising victims of domestic violence - had a more jovial air, though it was tinged with sadness and anger. T-shirts were spread around the table. Paint pens, jars of glitter and bottles of glue added to the colorful clutter.
Carefully, they decorated the shirts with words that recounted the horror or confronted their abusers with messages their mouths could not utter.
"I didn't ask for it! I have rights and you violated them all!"
"Twenty-seven years of anxiety, confusion, pain, terror, compliments of 'The nicest guy in the world.'''
"STOP Hurting Me! Love doesn't mean hurt and hurt means hate."
The T-shirts are for a project that support-group members hope will educate, enlighten and heal. Called the "Clothesline Project," the shirts, hung from a clothesline, will be the highlight of the resource center's Oct. 6 candlelight service to honor domestic violence survivors, to remember victims and to raise community awareness.
The shirts are color-coded. Yellow or beige is for women who have been battered or abused. Red, pink or orange is for women who have been sexually assaulted. Blue or green is for women victims of incest or child sexual abuse. Purple or lavender is for women attacked because they are lesbian. Some women decorate more than one shirt.
White is for women who have died of family or relationship violence.
"S" sits on the edge of a chair, painting large letters on a white T-shirt. She stops every so often to wipe tears from her eyes.
The shirt is for Judith D. Cook, a Roanoke woman who was killed by her boyfriend last year. He stabbed her in the back as many as nine times and struck her repeatedly on the head with a baseball bat.
"She was one of the girls in this group, someone I hung out with," S says. "She came to the group to get over her boyfriend."
The shirt is as much for S as it is for Cook.
"This one's for me, too," she says. "My husband hurt me bad." And she writes, "Don't put trust in the ones that hurt you."
"N" covers a beige T-shirt with large, hot-pink lettered words. She writes quickly but carefully, talking as the paint splatters.
"I almost feel like I've said it to him," N says, referring to her husband. "We had one really bad incident when he split my head wide open. And to think I almost killed myself because of him."
She grimaces and shakes her head. She writes, "You invaded my home and almost ended my life ..."
The Clothesline Project was started by a group of women in Massachusetts who hung a clothesline of shirts on poles crisscrossing Hyannis Port as a visual reminder of domestic violence. The project has expanded nationally and internationally.
"For some, this can be part of the healing process for [family and friends] of victims and can be part of healing for women trying to recover from the abuse of husbands or partners," said Ellen Brown, director of the Women's Resource Center, a division of Total Action Against Poverty.
"Sometimes these traumas are denied and concealed for many years. Sometimes this can be a sort of catharsis, sort of like painting or writing."
The resource center has about 40 active clients, an estimated one-tenth of the people in the Roanoke Valley who are living with an abusive partner, Brown says.
"So for every 10 we serve, there are 90 more who don't come forward," she said.
The number of resource center clients has increased since the O.J. Simpson case turned attention toward domestic violence, Brown said. With just two case managers, "we now have a two-week waiting period before we can do an intake on a woman unless it's an emergency," she said. Usually, an intake takes a few days, then women are referred to agencies that can provide shelter and counseling.
"I just wish we had another case manager," Brown said. "It's dangerous for anyone in that situation to wait.""C" shakes gold glitter from a shirt emblazoned with "Stop Abuse."
Anyone may contribute a T-shirt for the clothesline. The Women's Resource Center will accept finished T-shirts until Oct. 1. The T-shirts will be displayed at the center's Candlelight Service on Oct. 6 at 7 p.m. at Lee Plaza, Second Street and Church Avenue in downtown Roanoke.
For more information, call 345-6781, extension 337.
by CNB