Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, January 7, 1994 TAG: 9401080003
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 4 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE:
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
You have more than two brothers named Bubba.
Your family tree does not fork.
You can burp and say your name at the same time.
Your wife's hairdo is threatened every time she gets near a ceiling fan.
You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.
You consider a six-pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment.
You've ever been too drunk to fish.
You forgo a haircut because there's not a clean bowl in the house.
You convert your carport into a beauty shop.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
You prefer to walk the excess length off of your jeans rather than hem them.
You think beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Fewer than half the cars you own run.
by CNB