Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, January 13, 1994 TAG: 9401130297
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: By HARRY WESSEL ORLANDO (FLA.) SENTINEL
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
And that is good - for the economy and for those who will receive all those nifty goodies.
But scattered among the crowds are a few who would be better off anywhere other than where goods are bought and sold. "Shopaholics," as they are sometimes called, have a serious addiction that is causing them, and in many cases their families, much woe.
The shopaholic's addiction runs in cycles. Bonnie Poe, a spokeswoman for the Consumer Credit Counseling Services of Central Florida Inc., described it this way:
"You have a lousy week. Things don't go right. You feel miserable. The weekend comes up. You've got to get out of the house, so you go out and buy something. It makes you feel better. `Wow, things are looking up.'
"Then by Tuesday or Wednesday reality sets in, and the rest of the week progresses downhill. Things are going badly at work, you're screaming at your spouse, at your kids. Then it's the weekend again. `What made me feel better last week? Oh, yeah. Shopping.' So you do it again. You get a quick high. It's like a drug problem. You get high, and then you come down."
You may come down, but the bills only go up. Poe's nonprofit agency, funded by the United Way, provides free counseling to thousands of people who run into budgeting and debt problems. Most of them aren't shopaholics. They are people who had been living on a financial edge and got pushed off by circumstances beyond their control.
But a significant few of the agency's 5,000 people on debt-repayment schedules got into trouble because of a shopping addiction they could not control.
The addiction "may not be a drain when finances are good, but the economic downturn makes these things show up," Poe said.
Though books have been written on the subject, you won't find the term "shopaholic" in most dictionaries. It has no scientific or clinical basis, and the line between a shopaholic and a person who merely loves to shop can be a blurry one.
Those who spend beyond their means for no apparent reason, who buy things they clearly don't need and perhaps never even use, who feel euphoric when they shop and guilty about it afterward, have likely crossed that line.
Bonnie Poe thinks it's a good idea to ask oneself: " `Do I go for a specific thing or do I go looking for something that will make me feel good?' You need to be aware of that when you shop. Being aware is the first step in making changes in your behavior."
The next step, Poe said, is being able to make a choice about shopping. "If you can really say, `No, not this week,' then you're probably OK. When it comes to the point you can't make the choice, you've got a problem."
In her book, "Shopaholics: Serious Help for Addicted Spenders," New York therapist Janet Damon said the holiday season can be a particularly bad time for compulsive shoppers, who often buy inappropriately extravagant gifts. "Gifts may be an attempt to make up for not giving their loved ones what they really need - attention, love and time together. They can also be an attempt to gain the attention, love and respect they feel is lacking in their lives."
Irving Kolin, a Winter Park psychiatrist specializing in addiction, said compulsive shopping has to be seen as a symptom of a problem rather than a problem itself.
"Many needs can be fulfilled with shopping. For those who are feeling isolated, the interaction with salespeople is often a social thing. Overspending can be a passive-aggressive way for a person to express anger with a spouse."
Shopping is also used to combat low self-esteem, depression and any other number of problems common to those with addictions, Kolin said. Some shopaholics may be able to indulge their addiction for years without notice, so long as the checkbook stays healthy. But when financial conditions change, old habits can be hard to break.
"We do see people who shop to excess and hurt themselves financially. Like any behavior that's harmful, the treatment is to stop the behavior," Kolin said. "You have to stop it and get to the underlying problem."
\ Are you a compulsive shopper?
Do you "take off for the stores" when you've experienced a setback or a disappointment, or when you feel angry or scared?
Are your spending habits emotionally disturbing to you, and have they created chaos in your life?
Do your shopping habits create conflicts between you and someone close to you (spouse, lover, parents, children)?
Do you buy items with your credit cards that you wouldn't buy if you had to pay cash?
When you shop, do you feel a rush of euphoria mixed with feelings of anxiety?
Do you feel you're performing a dangerous, reckless or forbidden act when you shop?
When you return home after shopping, do you feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused?
Are many of your purchases seldom or never worn or used?
Do you lie to your family or friends about what you buy and how much you spend?
Would you feel "lost" without your credit cards?
Do you think about money excessively - how much you have, how much you owe, how much you wish you had - and then go out and shop again?
Do you spend a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate your shopping debts?
If you answered yes to more than four of these questions, you might have a shopping problem.
Source: "Shopaholics: Serious Help for Addicted Spenders," a book by New York therapist Janet Damon.
Here's where to find more information on compulsive shopping
"Credit, Cash and Codependency," Yvonne Kaye; Health Communications ($9.95)
"Quick Fixes & Small Comforts," by Georgia Witkin; Villard ($17.95)
"Beyond Quick Fixes," by Georgia Witkin; Berkley ($4.95)
"Women Who Shop Too Much," by Carolyn Wesson; St. Martin's ($9.95)
"Shopaholics: Serious Help for Addicted Spenders," Janet Damon; Price Stern Sloan Inc. (out of print but available in some public libraries).
by CNB