
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: TUESDAY, February 8, 1994                   TAG: 9402080035
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 3   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Neil Chethik
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

HEROES ARE EVERYWHERE, IN TOWNS BIG AND SMALL

With all the male-bashing going on these days, it was refreshing, and a\ little surprising, to be deluged with mail recently from women nominating their\ husbands, brothers, fathers and male friends for this column's 1993 Man of the\ Year award.

I had asked for nominations late last year, and in a subsequent column, I\ selected two national figures - truck driver Reginald Denny and writer Cornel\ West - for the award. But I've been unable to forget the passion and eloquence\ of so many women readers who wrote in to nominate the men in their lives.

So in the spirit of Valentine's Day, here's a peak into the hearts of women\ who unabashedly appreciate men.

What was most striking about these letters was that they rarely mentioned\ work. Women, it seems, do not care as much about what we do for a living or how\ much money we make as they do about loyalty, supportiveness, respect,\ tenderness and a good sense of humor.

As one Cleveland woman said in nominating her brother: "It's the family men who are really the unsung heroes."

The most convincing nomination - in part for its sheer heft - came from\ Marie Strang of Carleton, Mich., who filled three single-spaced pages with\ accolades about her husband, Timothy. In the end, she warned that if he wasn't\ chosen Man of the Year, "I'll keep nominating him, and each time my letter will\ be longer because I discover many new and wonderful traits about him every\ year."

So what's so great about this guy? "My husband is masculine, but not macho,"\ Marie wrote. "He's dependable, but not boring; stable but spontaneous. He gives\ me lots of attention, but also knows when to take time for himself."

Best of all, Marie wrote, he "always makes me feel that we are on the same\ side. He views me as an ally, not an adversary. As a result, we have few\ arguments, and the ones we have are resolved quickly because Tim knows when to\ take time out and cool down. Because of his example, he has helped me learn to\ control my temper, and to compromise."

A man helping a woman control her temper? If nothing else, it shatters the\ stereotype.

So does Larry Gunter of Lake City, Fla. His wife, Sheri Carder Gunter,\ acknowledged in her nomination letter that today's men "are truly caught in a\ generation gap - raised by traditional mothers, but married to modern women."\ So she's especially appreciative that her husband is so encouraging of her\ professional life.

"He's been my greatest fan and supporter, and absolutely believes I can do anything," she wrote. "Although we work in the same field and we're both college instructors, he's never been threatened. I'm highly competitive. He's content to sit back and applaud my efforts since he has no desire to live such a lifestyle."

Cris Flippen of Roanoke, Va., also cited her husband Wayne's supportiveness\ in nominating him as Man of the Year. She says, however, that she most admires\ him for his role as a father.

"Wayne remains in daily contact with his two biological children and\ supports them financially and emotionally," she wrote. "As the stepfather to my\ three children, he has been a wonderful, caring role model. The children are\ blessed to have his love, and will benefit from his example as they grow and\ make life choices in their own relationships."

Thanks to all the women who wrote in. It's certainly gratifying to know\ that we men are not the only ones who think we're great.

MALE CALL

Men: Who would you nominate for Woman of the Year? Send responses, questions and comments to VoiceMale, P.O. Box 8071, Lexington, Ky. 40533-8071.

by CNB