Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, February 8, 1994 TAG: 9402080249
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-7 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: By MARA LEE STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: BLACKSBURG LENGTH: Medium
Tired of people's assumptions of what a black person should be. Tired of them assuming you're straight. Or, if you're out of the closet, dealing with their assumptions about the gay lifestyle.
Members of the panel "Black, Gay and Proud" said the life of a black gay man or black lesbian is like being an outsider two or three times over.
You start to feel like all you do is explain, they said.
Kari Jones, an undergraduate at Virginia Tech, organized a panel discussion at the university Thursday night for Black History Month. She and two other panelists shared with roughly 40 Tech and Radford University students and local people the struggles of life as black gay men or lesbians.
The black community sometimes tells black women or gays to shelve their problems until racism is solved, she said. "I'm black, I'm a woman, I'm a lesbian," she said. "We're told to be black first, women second. You have to keep pushing. You can't separate the things, and I won't separate the three."
The panelists agreed that homophobia within the black community was more difficult to deal with than from society at large, because it is stronger and because they ought to feel safe with other blacks.
One panelist said that when she's with a group of blacks, she usually stays in the closet. "I feel like I'm compromising so much of myself," she said. "I just choose to live my proud self with my other gay friends who are family."
She grew up the preacher's kid in a Pentecostal Holiness church, knew she was different from the age of 6, and began coming out at 13. Her father has been fairly accepting, she said. "'You know I love you, baby,'" he'll say, "'And I just want you to be happy.'"
Corey Brooks, an undergraduate at Radford, said the strong role of the church in the black community definitely makes it difficult for him to be open. "When you have to deal with 'abomination' every five minutes, it's really hard."
Black men in the audience talked about how they felt pressure to act macho and in control. The two women said they felt pressured to build up the black male, "You gotta take care of your man," Jones said.
The intersection of blackness and homosexuality complicates life, but society's view of gays isn't all that wonderful, either. The women said they get sick of being the object of straight males' fantasies. Brooks said he wishes straight men would realize they're not irresistible.
But with all the hassles in continually making people aware of your orientation, Jones said, it was fulfilling, too. "There are times when I want to be superdyke, have my little cape and fly around, telling everybody," she said, laughing.
She added seriously, "It helps with your relationship with people. You're not hiding."
by CNB