Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, February 12, 1994 TAG: 9402120011
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-8 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: Ray Cox
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
This gentleman, we may presume, lived a merry and satisfied life. That is, as merry and satisfied a life as a fellow who is vice-free can lead.
But then, so the story goes, things started to get real dicey for our guy. Trouble started when gangsters who were moonlighting in agriculture made off with part of his herd. As heists go, this one rivaled Charles Keating's inside job at the savings and loan. The rustling bandidos liberated 3,500 head.
Then some bad weather blew in. Havoc enough was raised when hail fell like a carpet bombing run and murdered the innocent man's flock of 7,000 sheep, but that was a minor annoyance compared with the hurricane that developed. The breeze blew down a house where his 10 children happened to be partying and slew them all.
Distraught beyond measure as this unfortunate man was, stressed out, and approaching hysteria, it was hardly surprising that his health went into serious decline. Symptoms included a hideous and unsightly skin disorder covering him from toe to toupee, the miseries of which drove him into an ash pit where he sought relief by scraping himself with a sharp piece of a broken pie plate.
According to the Scriptures, from which this instructive account is drawn, Job railed at his fate and cursed the day he was born. He snarled at pals who sought to bring him cheer. Ultimately, he confronted God himself.
At length, Job was made to understand the mystery of life and he had peace.
For centuries, underdogs everywhere have kept faith and drawn strength from these verses. Eric Altizer might profit from a refresher course.
Altizer's problems don't compare to those of the rich farmer from the land of Uz, but whose do? But that isn't to say the new Shawsville High basketball coach has been walking in tall cotton lately, although what he is walking through does run deep and thick.
Altizer got the job when the incumbent, Tracy Poff, took on a different type of employment as an interim assistant principal. Altizer has been planning on making this career move, but he didn't count on it happening this soon or under these circumstances.
The Shawnees have been having a rough time of it since before Bill Clinton put his hand on the Good Book and raised his right hand. The losses have mounted, and not just on the floor.
Just after Altizer put the whistle around his neck, three of his players left. One kid moved out of town. Two others - the team's leading scorer included - turned out to be not as smashing in the classroom as they had been on the basketball court.
Additionally, Altizer has had to do double duty, not only coaching the varsity but the JV as well.
"It's been busy," he said.
Such a schedule can be wearing, but folks figure what the heck? Altizer's 26. He can take it. Sympathetic but lonely is his new bride as of last summer, the former Jenny West of the Riner Wests.
A different kind of guy might be gobbling antacid tablets by the burlap bag, but Altizer has so far remained serene.
"I'm a Type B personality," he said.
The players have taken well to him.
"He's sociable," said player Conrad Hughes, who said he wasn't the only one occasionally sent into a heart-pounding sweat by Poff's intimidating Death Stare, often brought on by one offense or another.
Poff has nothing but nice things to say about his former protege.
"He's doing an excellent job. He's coaching like we were 14-0 instead of having not won a game."
One day this week, player Corey Dow wandered through the coach's office to talk about that night's game at Galax.
"We'll beat 'em," he said. "For sure we'll beat them."
A noble sentiment, but as it turned out, a misguided one.
Galax won 62-36.
The prosperous farmer from Uz would have understood.
by CNB