Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, April 5, 1994 TAG: 9404080003
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-5 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: By JEANNE JOHNSON DUDZIAK
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
"Baywatch," otherwise known as "Babewatch," is a big issue around my house. As a parent, I expected to have to deal with many tough issues, ranging from the wide availability of illicit drugs to my son's onetime insistence upon shaving his head. But I really didn't expect that an inane excuse for parading half-naked bodies would become a big issue, especially at my oldest son's tender age of 7.
According to "Now," "Baywatch" is the most widely distributed and popular television show in the world, beamed via satellite even to remote outposts along the Amazon River.
As an eyewitness, I can attest to the fact that it even appeals to 7-year-old boys, who are at least gullible and unsophisticated enough to buy the show's lame plots, which often revolve around contrived, "socially redeeming" issues. But the so-called plots aren't the show's main appeal, even for 7-year-olds. When my son had two of his friends spend the night recently, they eagerly awaited the broadcast of "Baywatch," with particular eagerness directed toward the appearance of C.J.
For those who don't know, C.J. is built sort of like a D-cup Barbie doll on estrogen (or is it silicone?). The show also features a couple of token male hunks, including the slightly flabby David Hasslehoff, who also happens to be one of the show's producers. But basically, the show just blatantly features the five B's of cheap entertainment: bleached-blond babes, breasts and buttocks.
All of this is structured around what I can only loosely refer to as a plot. The plot almost always involves the rescue of a drowning person, which of course is a great excuse to display bouncing bodies plunging into the ocean and underwater shots of plunging necklines.
"Baywatch" will soon be broadcast to China, and "Now' featured a Chinese woman saying that the Chinese are anxious to see what American life is like.
Yeah, right.
The California featured in "Baywatch" is not the California of multi-ethnic conflict, riots, earthquakes, fires and depleted government funds. It's a big beach party where all the women either have the same genetic code or the same plastic surgeons.
"Baywatch" does have its limits, no doubt to appease people like me whose tolerance is stretched to the limit when watching it. One athletic-looking female star is a non-blond with normal- to small-sized breasts, but she's only one of many bodies. Thong bikinis are no longer featured and, despite all of the emphasis on bodies, there's no actual sex. It's the ultimate tease.
So now I have a dilemma. How do I explain to a 7-year-old boy that "Baywatch" is an exploitative show that presents an unrealistic body ideal for women, with undue emphasis on judging people according to their anatomical parts? How do I explain that only a moron would be taken in by the superficial plots, and that there's something unethical about a tribute to sexual titillation masquerading as a drama, and an insipid drama at that?
Our last conversation during "Baywatch" went something like this:
ME: Do you realize that this show is just an excuse to show women's bodies in bathing suits?
HIM: Yeah, but I like it.
ME: I hope you know that this show is very unrealistic and that most women don't look like this?
HIM: Yeah, I know.
ME: This is so stupid, I don't think I can stand it anymore. I'm turning this off.
HIM: NO, WAIT! I'm interested in the story. ... Hey, wow, there's C.J.!
I'm sorry to say I wimped out at first, but I had a solution for the next week. I may not know much about electronics, but I do know where the plug is. And I know how to pull it.
It won't be pleasant to be called a mean, mean mama, but at least I won't have to bear the burden of being responsible for the "Baywatch" brainwashing of a 7-year-old brain.
Sometimes, parenting is just plain tough.
Jeanne Johnson Dudziak, a university public-information officer, lives in Radford.
by CNB