Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, April 20, 1994 TAG: 9404200082
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: EXTRA-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MATT CHITTUM STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
Just call up the people who are listed very first and very last in the new Roanoke area phone book, and see how they feel about their status as bookends.
But two or three phone calls multiplied into 15 or 20, which plunged the phone book into controversy.
It began with a Saturday afternoon call to the newly listed Yetzel Zzyna, a name so impossible sounding that it nearly fell right off the edge of the page. With the acrobatic dual Z formation, Zzyna had apparently edged out the earlier favorite, C.G. Zyla.
Zyla, who eased into last place in the 1985-86 listings, after the disappearance of L. Zylycz, has only been displaced once, in the 1992-93 listings, bumped off by the amazing Y. Zyydon. Zyydon would have taken the title the year before, but in a controversial mishap, akin to the phantom punch in the Clay-Liston fight, his name was misspelled, and Y. Zydon skidded to a disappointing second-to-last place. He hasn't been listed since.
The call to Zzyna, however, proved to be the beginning of the mess. The number listed for him is incorrect, belonging instead to an unknown man who had little interest in the fact that he may be getting hundreds of calls for Yetzel Zzyna in the coming months.
Zzyna, the promising rookie, was immediately reduced to a footnote in the history of communication and left to languish by his phone, wondering why no one calls.
The title reverted to the runner-up and previous champ, Carolyn Zyla. A call to her netted only more trouble and a familiar voice: ``The number you have reached, (703) XXX-XXXX, has been disconnected. Calls are being taken by (703) XXX-XXXX. Please make a note of it.''
Zyla, though in satisfactory health now, unfortunately suffered a stroke, and is living with her daughter. She disconnected her number in early March.
According to Don Reid, area manager for Bell Atlantic, no listings were added or changed after Dec. 30, 1993. New phone books were distributed in late March, leaving a quarter-year gap in the listings.
Paul Zweiffel of Blacksburg saw the opening and sneaked into the winner's circle.
No, Blacksburg isn't in Roanoke, but because of plans to make Blacksburg a local call from Salem, Blacksburg listings are now included in the Roanoke book.
Is that fair? A late entry, leaping from the bushes just before the finish line, and taking the tape? And behind two just disqualified entries?
Zweiffel was not fazed by the ignominy of his finish.
``As far as I'm concerned,'' said Zweiffel, who didn't even know he was in the Roanoke phone book, ``the only shadow on my victory is the fact that I'm not last in my own area phone book.''
That honor went to Linda Zwolenski of Christiansburg. That's right. Blacksburg is in the Roanoke listings, but Christiansburg isn't.
Zweiffel, director of the Mathematical Physics Center at Virginia Tech, said he's been last all his life. His best friends from college all have names that begin with W, since his classes were seated in alphabetical order.
``Our name is really common in Lintal, Switzerland,'' said Zweiffel's wife, Kathy. ``It's on the sides of potato chip trucks and everywhere.''
Back home, though, it makes life easy. Zweiffel just tells people who want his number that it's the last, or almost last, number in the book.
Billy J. Aaron doesn't tell people he's first in the phone book. They tell him.
``People call me up and say, `You know you're first in the phone book?' I say, `Thanks for pointing that out.' ''
His name is actually second. He was bumped off this year by Eric Aanonsen of, yes, Blacksburg.
``Yeah, I checked him out,'' Aaron said.
Aanonsen, however, no longer lives at that number. He moved to Colorado.
Asked whether he felt he had a claim to the title, Aanonsen said, without enthusiasm, ``I guess not.''
It's not the first time Aaron, an accounting clerk at Norfolk Southern, has been nosed out by a transient. In the 1989-90 book, Diane Aaby, a Roanoke College student, played the spoiler. Last year it was Lars and Nancy Aaen, who, like Aanonsen, whirled by with the Scandinavian double A maneuver.
Aaron was happy to have the title back, no matter how he got it. He didn't seem concerned that the controversial three-month delay in getting the phone book out cost him a victory.
Paul Miller, a Bell Atlantic spokesman, doesn't believe the listings change all that much over those three months, but the fact that many listings become obsolete so quickly means things will have to change.
In the future, phone books will be electronic and readily updatable, Miller says. Bell Atlantic already offers to businesses a set of regional listings on compact disc, which can be updated monthly, but Miller says that system is too expensive for home use.
Meanwhile, Yetzel Zzyna waits for his phone to ring, and for technology to catch up to him.
by CNB