Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, May 5, 1994 TAG: 9405050139
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Beth Macy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
And then were the immortal words of Joyce Cornett. You can just picture her daughter, Andrea Cornett Bayne, leaning into the bathroom mirror, two fingers poised and at the ready.
Her mother's most vocal pet peeve?
``Don't squeeze that pimple - or it will go straight to your head and cause brain damage.''
There are just three shopping days till Mother's Day, which reminds me of my own mother's advice: ``Don't wait until the last minute'' and ``You can never go wrong with chocolate.''
To mark the occasion, we asked readers to tell us what their mothers know best - all the bits of advice imparted over the years, from the mundane to the meaningful. Words from the wise included instruction on child-rearing, perseverance, risk-taking and - my personal favorite - how to steal iris bulbs from a graveyard without being shot dead by marijuana growers.
Lynchburg's Mary Lou Nester-Baumgardner learned from her mother, Imogene Nester, that the best advice is sometimes to show by example and give no advice at all. Nester, who grew up in rural Carroll County in the '20s, related to her daughter her own version of walking to school seven miles in the snow - barefoot.
``When she completed the seventh grade at Shiloh School she was unable to attend high school because it was too far away,'' Nester-Baumgardner wrote. ``Back then, the school systems offered no means of transportation to the rural students, so the only way she could stay in school was to keep repeating the seventh grade - which she did willingly several times over. ...
``Her story impressed me greatly as a child - to think someone would go to school even when they didn't have to!''
Dianna Taylor's mother, Lena Lawhorne, also showed her how to make the best from an adverse situation. ``We had five girls in our family and of course we couldn't afford a lot of clothes,'' Taylor recalled. ``So when we'd go shopping and saw a dress we really liked, my mother would take a piece of paper out and draw a picture of it. Then she'd buy a piece of fabric and go home and make the dress.''
When Priscilla Richardson was growing up, she never left her house without hearing these words from her mother, Catherine Resch Richardson: ``Remember, you're God's perfect child.''
``For me - tall, wearing glasses, always on the honor roll, subjected to taunting and even physical injury from other children (not so surprisingly) and stinging put-downs from teachers (surprisingly, but apparently they resented my questions) - this was a bulwark,'' Richardson wrote. ``Because of her reinforcement, I believe, I always had friends. And it never once occurred to me to believe the hurtful negatives.''
When Jessica Shibley is feeling down, her mother, Phyllis, always has this to say: ``She says that just because I'm a teen-ager doesn't mean Mama can't kiss the hurt away,'' Jessica said. ``This helps me through a lot of days - especially since we're going through a divorce.''
And when things got rough for Angela Israel, her mother, Juanita Dabbs, always said the morning would be easier to face - if she ate a cracker and got a good night's sleep.
``The day my mother found out she had cancer, she came to my apartment and my kids were, as usual, being the precocious little 2- and 1-year-olds that they are,'' said Christy Pinson of her mother, Shirley Mountcastle. ``And Mom's basic message was: `I'm not giving up.' She taught me that no matter what trials and tribulations my kids put me through, I can't give up.''
Suzanne Rowland always used this bit of child-rearing advice from her mom, Jean Stump: ``When my kids were small and they didn't feel well, Mom always said to put a wet cloth on their forehead. That way they thought I was at least making an effort to make them feel better - even if it didn't work.''
Barbara Keeley relayed this bit of mommy advice from her mother-in-law, Nina Keeley - who had 15 children: ``She always gasped whenever I reached up over my head when I was pregnant,'' Keeley recalled. ``She said it would make the cord go over the baby's neck in-utero and kill it. I just wonder what she's thinking every night when she watches Vanna White on `Wheel of Fortune.'''
Faye Nagel's mom, Virgie Reid, always swore that catnip tea will cure a colicky infant and that promises made to your children should always be kept. ``When your children are small, they tramp on your feet. But when they grow up, they tramp on your heart,'' was another of her mother's favorite sayings.
And what teen-ager hasn't heard this saying, submitted by Lisa Poff in honor of her mother, Elsie Hinegar? ``She always said, `One day when you have children of your own, then you will understand.' I think of those words so often now that I'm in those same shoes.''
Barbara Spraggins can't undertake anything without hearing the echo of her mother, Elsie Woods: ``If a task is once begun, never leave until it's done. Be it labor, great or small, do it well or not at all.''
Julie Wiley's mother, Shirley C. Wiley, always told her: ``It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.''
And Betty Williamson's mom, Irene Moore, always said: ```You'll never know how much you'll miss your mother until she's gone.' And now I know what she meant because I do miss her.''
``I have two pieces of motherly advice I follow every day,'' Melissa Scoggins said of her mother, Ann Warner. ``The first is to be nice to everyone. ... My Mom took cookies [to the staff] when she had radiation treatments for breast cancer. And the second is: `Don't leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight because you'll hate to face them more in the morning than you do when you're going to bed.'''
Sherri McGuire always kills her enemies with kindness - a strategy she learned from her mother, Peggy Clark. And she never plants on Sundays, per her grandmother, Namie Fulp.
Cindy Jones never leaves home without two things - something to eat and a change of clothes - compliments of her mom, Christine Crane.
From Tanya Worrell: ``As silly as it seems, my mother, Ellen Pitts, gave me the same advice that Charlotte gave Wilbur. She always said, `Keep your chin up.'''
And Makala Vest Witten wrote that her mother, Penny Vest, always gave her the best advice when she needed it most: ``As a child walking through the dewy field to the bus stop, she'd call out, `Step big!'
``At the time, I thought it was silly AND embarrassing, but when I did shuffle through the damp grass, I ended up with wet feet and grass-stained tennis shoes.
``I still think of her comment when I walk through wet grass, but I also think of it as a metaphor for life. Take big steps, even though they're not as comfortable, and you'll always come out looking and feeling better in the long run.''
Witten, an English teacher at Shawsville High School, had her juniors respond to our Advice From Mom query. Among their essays:
> ``My mom told me always to be honest and also to `Keep the dress down and the pants up.''' - Vanessa Wilson
``I have never heard my mom, Sharon, give any good advice. One possible reason for this is that I never listen to my mom. I'm sure she has given plenty of it, and maybe if I would have listened, things would have gone a lot smoother.'' - Tony Graham
``My mother always nags about how the world is falling apart and for me not to drink or have sex. She lectures all my friends, too. She means well, though.'' - Taz Phoenix
``My mom always told me not to be fooled by what people always tell you about `the things the world and the people in it have to offer.' She said don't take the first man who comes along because you may end up with more than you bargained for. She also said, `If you walk through a briar patch, how do you know which one sticks you?''' - Angie Linkous
``The advice my mother (Eleanor) has given me is, `When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.' I know that sounds corny, but what it means is, when you hang around a bad crowd, you eventually end up with the same kind of ways and attitudes that they have.'' - Sekeithia Hicks
``My mom (Sharon Richardson) has always told me not to jump into anything too quickly. This has always proven true in buying cars and in relationships.'' - Angela Richardson
``When I was a kid, the only advice I remember hearing from my mom, Julie, was to `speak softer and slower; I can't understand a word you say.' I can see where she was coming from now. When you are out or something and you meet someone and they are talking really fast and loud, you can't understand a word they are saying.
``Another piece of advice she gave me was `Be home early.' I trust that now because one time I was out at 1 a.m. and got a ticket.'' - Steve Anders
Beth Macy, a features department staff writer, recalls her mother giving her this bit of Shakespearean advice in times of trouble: ``Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.'' Her column runs every other Thursday.
by CNB