Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, May 12, 1994 TAG: 9405120144
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: By KATHLEEN WILSON STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
And when you want to gab with Linda Richman, the New York Jewish maven host of ``Saturday Night Live's'' "Coffee Talk" segment, you call Mike Myers, right?
Or you can call Lord Botetourt High School senior John Smith Jr.
Last month at the school's talent night, Smith singlehandedly stole the show dressed as Linda in a black wig and long, long red fingernails. And he wasn't even a contestant. That night he pitched in as Linda to help out as an emcee between acts.
It takes a lot of guts to dress up in drag in front of your entire high school.
But as Linda would say, ``It was no big whoop.''
No one was quite sure how the act would play in Peoria - or in Botetourt County, in this case. But Linda was a show-stopping success, who even danced to ``The Main Event'' while a Barbra Streisand lookalike lip-synched.
We spoke to Linda after the show about an interview. She suggested we contact John Smith Jr. to make the arrangements.
Linda, at the newspaper building for her interview late one recent afternoon, sat drumming her red fingernails on the counter in the lobby. And here's what she had to say:
RTWN: ``Linda, who does your hair when you're in Roanoke?''
Linda: ``Marly's Magic Mirror in that fish town. Whad'ya call it? Troutville. That's it. But you'd bedda not put the part about it being a fish town in your papah. Oy, you'll get a lotta calls.''
RTWN: ``Do you enjoy living in New York?''
Linda: ``To survive in New York, darling, you've gotta pack heat, you know what I mean? Da crime is da worst. But the bagels are to die for. C'est vrai. That's French, you know.''
RTWN: ``Your clothes are lovely. You've got such good taste. Do you have a favorite designer?''
Linda: ``I love that Donna Karan, but on my pension? Forget it. My good friend, Barbra Streisand, gives me some of her Donna Karan clothes when she's done with them - like I could fit into that woman's tiny clothes. So I frame them and hang them on the wall.''
RTWN: ``I assume since you and Barbra are so close you've been disappointed that she's been snubbed as a director by the Academy Awards.''
Linda: ``It's a disgrace. I just loved that `Yentl.' ... Excuse me. I'm all ferklempt.'' (She's all choked up. The red nails on her hand flutter at her throat.)
Linda: ``Gimme a moment. Talk amongst yourselves.... OK. I've pulled myself togethah. The woman should be nominated each year just for her nails and her legs. From my lips to God's ear. I think of her as the sister I nevah had. She is so gracious. Charm just oozes outta her pores.''
RTWN: ``What did you think of her relationship with Andre Agassi?''
Linda: ``Long story short: Met him once; didn't like him.''
RTWN: ``So just who do you think is the perfect man for Barbra?''
Linda: ``God is the only man deserving of that woman.''
RTWN: ``What do you think about her nose?''
Linda: ``Who would want to mess with Michelangelo's David? Once someone in Botetourt said something nasty about Barbra's nose and I had to slap him upside of his head with my pocketbook.''
RTWN: ``We spoke with the publicist from `Saturday Night Live' a couple days ago, and she said Mike Myers is currently writing a movie script about you called `Coffee Talk.'''
Linda: ``He's such a lovely boy, that Michael. He married my daughter, you know. I love him like a son, even if he is a goy.''
RTWN: ``You talk a lot about your struggle with your weight.''
Linda: ``I know, I know. I have an animal attraction to food. People say, `Don't go to the grocery store when you're hungry. I say, `When am I ever not hungry?'''
RTWN: ``I love your show, 'Coffee Talk.' Who was your favorite guest?''
Linda: ``Charlton Heston. I just loved him. We had a brief fling. It didn't last. He may have played Moses, but he just didn't get the Yiddish.''
by CNB