Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, May 22, 1994 TAG: 9405210004
SECTION: BUSINESS PAGE: F-2 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Camille Wright Miller
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
A. Assertive behavior is no guarantee you'll get what you want, but Dr. Hildy Getz suggests that assertive behavior will leave you with more self-respect than aggressive behavior.
Getz, a licensed professional counselor in private practice, notes that assertive behavior "includes honest expressions of what you feel or think and is always respectful of others." Aggressive behavior, on the other hand, "may be honest, but puts the other person down by attacking, blaming or using loaded words. Aggressive behavior is not respectful of others." Loaded words include "you never" or "you're always."
While aggressive behavior may get you what you want, Getz finds that aggressive behavior damages relationships - in both our personal and professional lives. Your supervisor has offered you the opportunity to make a change that will benefit both areas of your life. You'll get a good start at change by listening to yourself as you speak with others.
To monitor yourself, Getz advises "looking at your actual communication behavior. Are you using "I" messages and presenting a posture of equality and respect?" If so, you are engaging in assertive behavior. Aggressiveness may sometimes get you what you want, but assertiveness will leave you with self-respect and healthier relationships. In the long-run, assertiveness wins out.
Q: We are "asked" to work overtime several times every week. Since we're on salary, we don't get benefits such as increased pay or comp time. How can we stop our work day on time?
A. Willingness to be first in the office and last out is often noted by supervisors and rewarded by choice assignments or during annual evaluations and salary review. Still, there is a limit to how much time employees are willing to give a company.
Identify how much overtime you can work and then meet with your supervisor. You will need to set firm limits at the same time you offer time to your supervisor. For example, you could say, "With a day's notice, I am happy to work extra hours on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Because of other commitments, I am unable to work overtime on Mondays and Fridays."
Occasional overtime is part of most jobs, but if overtime is excessive and habitual, you need to take the initiative to change the way it is viewed. Keep track of your overtime hours and meet with your supervisor at the end of a month to discuss comp time. You can also use behavior modification by praising your supervisor for days that end on-time. Praise generally causes people to try to reproduce the situation.
Another approach is to meet with your supervisor and offer to work with him or her to discover ways to restructure the work so overtime is unnecessary.
Q. My first performance evaluation is next month. I have no idea what to expect. I don't know whether to update my resume or hold my breath and hope for the best. What can I do to prepare?
A. Make an appointment with your supervisor to discuss your upcoming evaluation. At that meeting, tell your supervisor that this evaluation will be your first and you'd like to know what the evaluation includes. Ask to see a copy of the evaluation form. Ask your supervisor if he or she has identified any specific strengths you bring to your work. Are there any areas identified for improvement?
Your supervisor may ask that the conversation be delayed until your actual evaluation, but, more likely, your supervisor will provide some idea of how you will be rated.
If your supervisor fails to recall specific accomplishments, follow your informal discussion with a brief note thanking your supervisor for explaining the evaluation procedure. Add "I thought it might be useful if I wrote a summary of what I view as my accomplishments this past year." Attach the summary to your note; your supervisor will likely use this for your evaluation.
by CNB