
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, May 29, 1994                   TAG: 9406020003
SECTION: BUSINESS                    PAGE: D-2   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Camille Wright Miller
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

MAKE THE EFFORT AND WRITE THE COURTESY NOTE YOURSELF

Q. I've heard it's appropriate to send written notes when thanking, congratulating or expressing sympathy. I never know what to say and would, for that reason, rather use a commercial card.

A. Much like a letter from a friend in a stack of bills, hand-written notes receive special consideration. In business, such notes set you apart from and even slightly above others.

MacMillan Johnson IV, known for sending wonderful notes, observes that everyone likes to be acknowledged. As important, Johnson finds notes of appreciation a part of team building. Vice President for Student Affairs at Roanoke College, Johnson's guidelines for notes include writing soon after the event and being specific about what is being acknowledged.

Notes of congratulation are a pleasure to write, says Johnson. These notes allow one to praise a particular accomplishment. Johnson recognizes that "a quick, pointed acknowledgement is not a letter, so it's important to be specific about the difference an individual has made to an organization and include that in the note."

With notes of sympathy, Johnson suggests using personal experience where appropriate, while focusing on the grieved. This approach goes beyond "I'm so sorry."

If you are completely baffled by the blank page, start with the purpose of your note. For example, "I want to thank you for...." Fill in the reason and sign it sincerely. Longer is not always better and practice brings improvement.

Q. Public speaking makes me very nervous. How can I overcome this?

A. Most people rank public speaking as the number one fear. That's troubling given that a joint study by AT&T and Stanford University found that how much one enjoys public speaking and how effective one is at it are the top predictors of success and professional upward mobility. If you are aiming for career success, overcoming fear of public speaking is critical.

A good place to start is reading ``Communicating at Work'' by Tony Alessandra, Ph.D. and Phil Hunsaker, Ph.D. This 1993 Fireside paperback is one of the most easily read books I've encountered on the subject. The chapter on presentation power shows how to train your butterflies; most important, the authors guide you to developing the attitude of a successful public speaker. Communicating at Work covers everything from public speaking to active listening and is an excellent resource for the success-minded individual.

For purposes of confidence and practice, investigate public speaking courses at the area colleges; courses at Virginia Western are an excellent buy. Check the continuing education programs in the valley and be on the lookout for courses offered by the Business and Professional Women's Club. BPW offers women an excellent course which includes public speaking. Toastmasters is another group which offers excellent speaking opportunities.

Successful public speaking is one-half preparation, one-fourth attitude, and one-fourth practice.

And remember, your audience wants you to succeed.

Q. I hurt the feelings of a co-worker. I didn't realize he was within hearing distance when I commented on his recent and uncharacteristic poor performance. It's obvious our work relationship is now strained. How can I fix this mess?

A. Find a quiet moment away from other employees and start with an apology. You can simply say, "I know you overheard my comments about the Jones account. I was out-of-line when I said what I did. I feel badly and I'm very sorry."

Since you mention your co-worker's poor performance is a recent change in work style, you might follow your apology with an offer to help. For example, "Your work is usually of such high quality that I was surprised when the Jones account didn't seem up to your usual standards. If I can help you regain your enthusiasm for the account, please let me know. I'd really like to help."

After that, treat the incident as a closed chapter. By all means, don't discuss the original incident or the apology with others. If your co-worker doesn't seem to accept your apology at first, leave him alone. Working through the hurt of an insult often takes times, but your apology is necessary if there is to be any chance of a better working relationship.

by CNB