Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, May 31, 1994 TAG: 9406010009
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Kathleen Wilson
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
Then, last week, someone at CNN made mucho dinero when the decision was made to include the answer to the 3-year-old Esquire question in a news broadcast.
Well, if Esquire and CNN find it an issue of such high caliber to cover, then why shouldn't we?
The question?
``Who do you find more attractive and arousing: Wilma or Betty?''
You know, as in Flintstone or Rubble.
(Actually, Esquire asked the question in a far more carnal tone, but this is a family newspaper ... )
Betty won by a rockslide, knocking over poor Wilma by a margin of almost 2-to-1.
The Esquire poll also asked its readers whether they'd rather be Prince Charles or Prince (Prince Charles, 74 percent); whether they'd watched more episodes of ``Masterpiece Theatre'' or ``American Gladiators'' (``Gladiators'' by a spear); and whether they'd prefer their sons to appreciate poetry or handle themselves in a fight ( Evander Holyfield knocked out John Donne before the first- round bell even sounded.)
Esquire senior editor Bill Tonelli had a hard time tackling the Wilma or Betty issue himself.
``My first choice would be to have both,'' he admitted to me.
But most local men stood by the 1991 results.
``It's a tough question,'' pondered WDBJ-TV's newsbucko Keith Humphrey. ``[Wilma and Betty] are both exquisite examples of prehistoric womanhood.
``Now, Wilma is Fred's wife, right? Then I'd have to choose Betty. Although it's a very close call.''
Deejay Mofo over at K-92 agreed.
``Well, I, uh, gee, Betty,'' he finally said. ``She's just sexier. Besides, I prefer brunettes over redheads in most cases.''
Hey, Mofo. You're talking to someone of the redheaded persuasion, straight from the Planet Lucy.
``That's why I said in most cases.''
The question is a lot like those posed in the beer commercials. You know the ones. Where the guys are hanging around shooting pool and the babes are watching.
``Ginger or Mary Ann?'' challenges one guy.
``Ginger was a bimbo,'' cracks the most bimbo-ish of the gals.
``Mary Ann,'' the guys finally agree.
``Mary Ann or Jeannie?''
A moment of silence before the guys burst out ``Jeannie!''
It seemed only fair to add Fred and Barney to our poll.
But the look of sheer terror on the faces of women when asked whom they would chose if Fred and Barney were the only two available men on this planet prompted talk of convents, suicide and celibacy.
Except ...
``Fred or Barney?'' repeated Michelle Bennett, somewhat dumbfounded. ``I'd have to go with Betty. She was a hot number.''
Those were the exact words Troy Lenderking used to describe his choice, Betty.
Troy, by the way, was only 4 when ``The Flintstones'' hit television.
``I knew I wanted her,'' he recalled. ``Of course, I had no idea what I wanted her for.''
``Can I pick Dino?'' asked Lydia Powell, who was sitting at Salem Valley 8 Cinemas waiting for the movie version of the more than 30-year-old Hanna-Barbera TV cartoon that was a take-off on Jackie Gleason's ``The Honeymooners.''
Lydia's husband, Tom, was one of very few men to opt for Wilma.
``She seems to be more intelligent, have more on the ball,'' he tried to explain. ``Betty always seemed to be such a ditz.''
Intelligence didn't really factor into Channel 7 weatherdude Robin Reed's choice.
``Betty is just a better name,'' he said. ``I can't imagine having any romantic interest in anyone named Wilma.''
(Attention all area Wilmas: send your phone calls, cards, letters, and faxes over to WDBJ-TV - please!)
Del. Morgan Griffith, R-Salem, begged to differ with Robin Sexiest-Man-in-Roanoke Reed.
``I always liked that Wilma,'' he said. ``There was something about her that just drew a man's eye.
``Not that I'd want to offend any of my non-redheaded following,'' he added quickly, with much diplomacy.
``I've gotta go with Betty,'' phoned in Del. Creigh Deeds, D-Warm Springs, after giving the matter some thought. ``I've got a cat named Betty and she's been with me for eight years now. And the kids once had a goldfish named Wilma who died after about 30 days.
``I'm picking Betty because she's a stay-er.''
Back to the dreaded Fred or Barney. ``No question,'' answered Kalley Sexiest-Woman-in-Roanoke King of WSLS-TV without hesitation. ``Barney. He's a down-to-earth guy. Fred was too gruff. Sort of like Archie Bunker.''
``Barney,'' agreed Susan Abe. ``He's hot. He's blond. And he's one of those guys in the background that you kind of write off and later wish you hadn't.
``Besides, I was married to Fred for 10 years.''
Linda Crockett, who works for Brambleton Family Physicians, said, ``Fred - in a heartbeat!''
Why?
```Cause he's just so stupid!'' Linda figured she'd have no problem bossing old Fred around.
From her seat at Salem Valley 8, Mary Mullins agreed . ``Fred, of course! He's just a big dumb klutz. He's got flaws.''
(When Mary further explained that she liked Fred because he was ``a real person,'' I refrained from recommending therapy.)
Carolyn Greene of Salem figured Bamm-Bamm Rubble would be worth even a prehistoric wait.
``Strong. Silent. Lots of potential there. Bamm-Bamm was going to be a real man.''
Frances Little bypassed Fred and Barney and chose Cary Granite, the cartoon movie hunk who made Betty, Wilma and the rest of the female population of Bedrock swoon.
Chris Henson put an end to the Fred/Barney and Wilma/Betty debate, referring again to those beer commercials.
``Now here's the real question: Betty ...
``Or Veronica?''
by CNB