Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, June 16, 1994 TAG: 9407120061
SECTION: NEIGHBORS PAGE: S1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: BETSY BIESENBACH STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
Unlike many men their age, who spent their younger years pursuing careers and had little time to spend with their families, these four say they participated as much as they could as their children grew up, even if it meant sacrificing their own needs.
Alphonzo L. ``Al'' Holland, Father of the Year for Civic Affairs, said he was ``elated'' when he found out he was to receive the honor. However, the only surprising thing about Holland's selection may be that he hasn't won before.
Holland, 77, of Northwest Roanoke was born in the city, and has long been involved in the civic life of his hometown. During the 1960s, he took part in the valley's ``quiet integration,'' helping open schools, lunch counters, stores and other public facilities to black citizens without the violence that occurred in other cities.
Holland has been involved with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, the Roanoke Chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, the League of Older Americans, the Private Industry Council, the YMCA Family Center, the American Red Cross and the Harrison Museum.
He belonged to the committee that established Roanoke's War Memorial, and in 1947, he helped charter Boy Scout Troop 100 at High Street Baptist Church, where he has been a member for more than 60 years.
Nearly 50 years later, the troop still is active, and some of the most prominent members of Roanoke's black community are former members.
Professionally, Holland worked his way up from a freight handler's job with Norfolk and Western Railway. After 46 years of service, he retired in 1985 as assistant supervisor of tariffs.
Holland originally planned to go to law school, and even spent 18 months studying at Hampton University. However, like many people of his generation, he was forced to quit during the Great Depression when he ran out of money. He also spent three years in the Army during World War II.
``It was a great experience,'' he said. Although they were oppressed at home, black soldiers served gladly ``for love of country.''
Holland later went to Korea and then joined the Army Reserve. He belonged until 1976.
Although he had a demanding job and family of his own, Holland always believed it was his duty to get involved with other people's children.
``You've got to help other families,'' he said. ``It builds a foundation'' for the future. The key to meeting so many obligations, he said, is to ``set the priorities on where you're headed.''
In fact, he said, since his retirement, he has been busier than ever. Besides belonging to various civic and social organizations, he spends a good deal of his time teaching race relations to groups as diverse as business people and Brownie troops.
Holland, who was nominated by his daughter, Carrieoma Brooks, also has son and another daughter, a stepson, six grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. His wife, Sara, is in charge of youth services at Total Action Against Poverty.
To be a good father, he said, ``you have to want to be a father. You have to want to give support to your children.''
A father needs to teach his children ``love of self, love of God, and love of country. If they have these things, they'll make it.''
It's said that no one can be all things to all people, but Don Young, Father of the Year for Family Life, seems to have come close to that ideal - especially where his family is concerned.
``He visits the sick in the hospital and those in need,'' wrote his sister, Doris Carson, in her nominating letter.
``He's always there when I am down. I like to go visit his house and jump on the trampoline that he got for us,'' wrote granddaughter Brianna Young.
Justin Thomas, 16, who is the brother of one of Young's daughters-in-law and lives with her, wrote, ``I have never had a good father figure around me. He has been a big support and help to me. He took time to make me feel part of the family.''
The two youngest of the family are twin boys, and when they were born, ``Mom and Dad shared some maternal responsibilities,'' wrote Jeffrey, one of the twins. ``I would like to have a penny for every dish or every stitch of clothes my Dad washed.''
Since Young's wife, Joyce, died five years ago, ``he makes sure that we still have our traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, and he never forgets a birthday,'' wrote his only daughter, Michelle Stanley.
Evidently, no job is too large or too small for Young.
``If my washing machine breaks down or I need a baby sitter in a pinch, I know I can call Dad,'' wrote daughter-in-law Leatha Young.
And in what was perhaps the ultimate in grandfatherly duty, ``he wrote my homework for me when I had a broken arm,'' wrote grandson Cody Stanley.
Young, 61, of Northeast Roanoke has his own definition of what it is to be a good father.
``I don't know what quality time is,'' he said. ``Time is quantity. You have to spend a lot of time with family.''
Also, he said, ``You can't treat [children] all the same.''
It's important to take the time to sit down and listen to them, he said. ``If they feel rushed, they're not going to talk.''
Young participated as much as he could in raising his children, sometimes while he was working a second job.
``I always wanted a large family,'' he said. ``I wish I could have had more.''
He often goes to the grandchildren's ballgames, and once switched the side he was sitting on when two grandchildren happened to be playing against each other.
He retired from C&P Telephone Company last year after nearly 38 years. Since then, he has kept busy serving as a deacon and teaching Sunday School at his church, Hollins Road Baptist.
Between church and family, there is little time for hobbies, he said.
William S. Hackley Sr., Father of the Year for Education, will retire from the Roanoke school system at the end of this month after 30 years of service.
He has spent the last year of his tenure working as administrator of Roanoke's Alternative Education program, which is designed to meet the needs of students who are at risk of dropping out. A few of the students have been in serious trouble, but most simply don't fit in at their home schools, he said.
It's a job he has enjoyed. ``There's good in every child,'' he said.
He sees the Alternative Education program as ``a place where kids can be themselves,'' a place where they have a chance to finish high school.
``God's not finished with those kids,'' he said. ``We knock off the rough edges.''
Hackley said he has a good rapport with the students, perhaps because he knows himself how difficult it can be for young people to make decisions.
Hackley, 59, is a Roanoke native and one of 10 children. His father was a mail carrier and his mother was a homemaker. Although the family probably would qualify for subsidized lunches today, they never considered themselves poor, he said.
In fact, his parents paid for each child's college education in cash, from their father's salary and from money the children earned working summer jobs.
``No one can ever take an education away from you,'' Hackley recalled his father saying.
But when it was Hackley's turn to go to college, he went for a while, then dropped out, not knowing what he really wanted to do.
Three years in the Army gave him maturity, he said. He enrolled in Bluefield State College after his discharge and went on to earn a master's degree in guidance.
He came back to Roanoke in 1964 and began his career as a history teacher and basketball coach at the former Lucy Addison High School. He went on to teach at former Lee Junior High, where he also coached basketball and football.
He was a guidance counselor and assistant principal at Madison Junior High, principal of Breckenridge Junior High, and served as director of secondary education and assistant superintendent of administration with the Roanoke school system before moving to the Alternative Education program, which he helped put together in 1986.
Since he has returned to working directly with students, he said, ``I've been laughing more, and my blood pressure is down.''
Hackley and his wife, Mary, who also works for the city school system, have one son, William Jr., who is in his second year in law school.
Aside from serving as a steward for his church, Mount Zion A.M.E., Hackley has few occupations outside home and work. Although he and his wife both have demanding careers, they were always careful to include their son, who nominated him as Father of the Year, in most of their activities.
``Some would say we're too close,'' Hackley said, ``but what can I say? That's my kid. We love him dearly.''
In his role as superintendent of Roanoke County schools for the past 14 years, Bayes E. Wilson, Father of the Year for Youth Leadership, has made decisions that have affected thousands of children in the Roanoke Valley.
But when it comes to being a grandfather, it's the children who call the shots.
``I haven't been able to park my car in half of the garage for years,'' he laughed. That side is filled with bicycles and toys that belong to his 7-year-old grandchildren, Charlie and Ashleigh. Charlie is the child of Wilson's son David; Ashleigh his son John's child. Wilson, who lives in Salem, will retire from the school system on June 30 after 38 years of service. By the beginning of the month, his office already was crowded with gifts from teachers, students, parent-teacher associations and other organizations.
``Everyone has been really kind,'' he said, and he has ``mixed feelings'' about retirement.
Unlike many Father of the Year winners, Wilson has been interviewed for newspaper stories countless times, and he answers the familiar questions about his career in detached, even tones.
But when he discusses his children and grandchildren, his face lights up and he becomes more animated.
``Being a parent is a satisfying experience,'' he said ``and being a grandparent may be more so.''
When his sons were young, Wilson said, he deliberately delayed accepting promotions, although several were offered, so that he could be with his family.
Both boys were involved in scouting and sports, as are the grandchildren, and he always tries to attend games when he can. The secret of being a good father is ``setting the best example you can,'' he said.
Spending time with them and helping with homework is especially important. ``You need to share your life with them,'' he said.
Although he did not initially plan to become a teacher, Wilson said he is glad he did.
``There is a joy to being an educator. I think everyone has some desire to teach young people.'' And because he has been a classroom teacher, a principal and an administrator, ``I never felt the job was boring,'' he said.
``One of my father's strongest characteristics is his unique ability of persuading others to do their best,'' wrote John in his nominating letter.
After his retirement, Wilson plans to spend ``a whole lot of time with them,'' he said, gesturing toward the large portraits of the grandchildren, which sit near his desk.
Wilson also plans to do some fishing and other outdoor activities, and although he has never had time to learn to play golf, he intends to try out a set of clubs one school gave him. He also plans to travel with his wife, Ella, he said.
Wilson is a member of the First United Methodist Church in Salem, and has been a member of the Kiwanis Club since 1959. He has been active in the Salem/Roanoke County Chamber of Commerce and with the United Way Campaign.
At age 35, Paul Moore, Father of the Year for Religious Activities, is by far the youngest of this year's winners.
Perhaps it is because of his youth and what he calls a ``type A'' personality that he believes having patience is the best quality a father can have. It's something he says he has tried hard to learn.
``You have to teach them it's OK to make a mistake and to learn from it,'' he said.
Moore and his wife, Melody, have two children: Erin, 9, and Alan, 7. He is manager of information systems and services at Shenandoah Life Insurance Company, where he has been employed for nearly 15 years.
Religion always has played a major part in his life, he said. Both he and Melody grew up at Grandin Court Baptist Church.
Although he showed a little adolescent rebellion by waiting until he was 13 to be baptized, Moore soon became an important part of the church. ``I felt a calling to be a minister as a lay person,'' he explained.
By the time he was 20, wrote his friends Carl and Mary Jane Cross in their nominating letter, he was elected to the board of deacons, the youngest person ever to serve in that capacity.
Five years later, he became the youngest chairman of the board of deacons, taught Sunday school, was the director for several years and headed up a project to renovate the church's classroom space.
Since then, the family has joined Vinton Baptist Church because there were more programs that appealed to a young family, he said. But he still has friends at Grandin Court, and instead of looking at the move as a loss, ``I have two church families now,'' he said.
Vinton Baptist also has a mission program to India, and he and Melody have involved themselves in that project to such an extent that they paid for a visit there last summer to work with the growing Baptist population. The experience was so good, he said, ``I'm itching to get back.''
Church was a good influence on him while he was growing up, Moore said. His church friends helped him resist pressure from his peers to do things he felt were wrong, and the activities were fun.
Moore said he wants the same thing for his children, and although they are involved in sports, music lessons and other activities, these often are set aside so the family can go to church.
Moore and his wife also try to make time every day for family devotions, consisting of Bible reading and prayer. The children, he said, ``are learning to pray for others.''
Like most fathers these days, Moore was in the delivery room when Melody gave birth, and said it is ``a great joy to see your child born.''
After the children arrived, he said, Melody decided to stay home with them, rather than return to her job. They had to cut back on the luxuries, he said, ``but the children more than compensated for it. They bring great joy into your life.''
by CNB