Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, October 26, 1994                   TAG: 9410270042
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

A `DINOSAUR' THAT ISN'T EXTINCT

I resist trends - never owned a Nehru jacket in my life - and I have a computer that is 3 years old but it does very well for me. I hate the piece of junk most of the time, but it keeps turning on when I ask it to.

(Incidentally, you'll never hear me call my computer a "PC." I think this is trendy, as well as trashy, and will have no part of it.)

It may be a dinosaur, but my computer has stuff I haven't used yet.

I don't use the check-balancing feature. I think Americans ought to have the guts to take their $9.95 solar-powered calculators and do a little simple subtraction. I never think of addition and my checkbook in the same terms.

I think any person who claims a balanced checkbook is lying.

Once, I did use the diary function, but I found that everything I put down was hysterical and irrational, and I didn't want any of these ravings found after my demise:

"What did I tell you, Stella? I always said his elevator was stuck between floors."

Sure, there was a password. But anybody who knows me knows that it was KIM.

I've never used this program that allows me to list the things I need for a cruise and what I will be doing during this vacation. The chances of such a trip are roughly equal to my being chosen to play Rhett Butler.

I haven't got that many suitcases anyway, and my cruise wardrobe is limited to two pairs of knit shorts with no grease stains and two extra-extra-large T-shirts advertising certain attractions on the Outer Banks.

I could list all my monthly bills in there. I merely write them down on a legal pad and mark through them as I pay them. This is simpler and can't overload the computer's debt memory banks.

There's a drawing section I'm afraid of, a recipe program and a message system.

I'm interested only in the results of recipes and when we have messages around our house, we write them down on those little slips with adhesive at the top and stick them on the refrigerator or to the middle of the kitchen table.

You can see that as far as my needs are concerned, this sucker is not obsolete.

It's often quite hospitable and kind to me. Those of you who thought I was going to say it's "user-friendly" can just go somewhere and be trendy and leave me alone.