Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, October 27, 1994 TAG: 9411120038
SECTION: NEIGHBORS PAGE: N6 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: CLAUDINE WILLIAMS STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Everyone just seemed to hit it off.
And they continue to share their lives with each other. Saturday, proud mothers and fathers gathered with their toddlers for a party to celebrate a round of first birthdays.
"This class is different in that it has been determined to get together," Honer said. "The members of this class have shown compassion for each other in sharing the ups and downs in life."
Although it is not unusual for one or two friendships to develop during this bonding time, Honer said she has never had a group of students meet regularly and remain friends after their children are delivered.
The friendships began in the first class last August, Honer said. Instead of the parents forming their own little cliques during scheduled breaks, expecting mothers and fathers chatted with other parents-to-be. Horner said she could barely get them to stop talking and restart the class.
"It was interesting to combine all of our different personalities and talk about the ways we all wanted to experience having our babies," said Michael Amos, father of Whitney. "It was sort of like brainstorming."
Three of the couples had their babies within a day of each other at Community Hospital. Every now and then they show off the pictures of themselves posing with tiny pink-faced babies just before they all left the hospital.
During their last Lamaze class, the soon-to-be mothers decided to get together every month. They would leave the babies home with their husbands and have a good time. They call it "Mom's Night Out."
"Sometimes we talk about how hard it is to have a baby, and a lot of the time we talk about the joy of having a child," said Catherine Benson, who has a son, Zachariah. "It is good to have children who are at the same stage as your child around."
Not all of the mothers make it for the monthly social, but they all agree that it is a good opportunity to share common experiences.
"As an older mom, most of my friends are dealing with issues involving teen-age children ... or even their independence," said Gail Steele, mother of Ansel. "For me the opportunity to talk with kindred souls has been invaluable. ...
"I really enjoy Mom's Night Out. I have no family living around Roanoke, so I have adopted these moms as my family," said Lovace Bowman, who is the youngest mom.
"I can learn a lot from the others. They have been with me through everything from being depressed about losing my job to the joys of sharing the first tooth and the first step. None of them know how much they have helped me," said Bowman, mother of Brandon.
Kelly Seward, mother of Jesse, said other children in her family are in college so "it helps having these moms to talk to about different things going on in my son's life."
"These moms have been so supportive of all that I have gone through as a new mom," said Lois Fay, mother of Caitlin and unofficial group publicist and photographer.
"These were the first people we met when we moved to town," said Fay, who with her husband, Richard, missed the first class because they were driving to town from their old home in Vienna on Aug. 26, 1993.
The class met two other times before the baby's birthday bash. They braved last year's rough winter for a New Year's party and met again for a May Day party when the babies were about 6 months old.
While the fathers were a little reluctant to talk diapers and feedings at the parties, they managed to form their own friendships by talking about football and cars.
Parties are not the same when there are seven babies crawling around, said Koy Farthing, father of Wilson. "But, it's good that you can go to a party with the kids and still have fun. Having kids forces you to do things that make you a better person."
The parents say they plan to make the joint birthday parties an annual event.
"I image we will do this until they are teen-agers and don't want to hang around their parents anymore," said Catherine Benson, who is the only one in the group with other children.
Keeping in the spirit of the day of the birthday party, parents played silly guessing games, helped open presents and made funny faces to get the babies to gurgle and smile for group photos.
For most of the babies, the real fun didn't begin until the birthday cake was dished out and they realized the joy of eating and wearing frosting. Only Brandon Bowman used a spoon.
His mother was so proud.
by CNB