
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, October 30, 1994                   TAG: 9410310078
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: C-3   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: 
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

OUR SENATE RACE PLAYED FOR LAUGHS ACROSS THE NATION

You might think the Virginia Senate race would be no laughing matter, but you'd be wrong. Across the nation, commentators have been unable to contain their mirth at the spectacle.

For some reason, political pundits keep appearing on Oliver North's mailing list and receiving his invitation to become contributors and members of an elite advisory board.

Robert Schmuhl, chairman of the American Studies Department at Notre Dame, got one and made light of it in the Chicago Tribune. Bill Tammeus of the Kansas City Star (Oct. 24) got his Ollie mailing, as well.

Tammeus was surprised, since he had recently noted in print that ``North had told high school students, `I did not lie to Congress,' which I called further proof that some days it's hard for a satirist like me to be funnier than the news.

``I also noted in print that North has been calling President Clinton `the worst president we've ever had.' Which I suggested was like a thief griping about the police chief.

``I also said that the Sen. Chuck Robb-Ollie North race must make Virginians wish their state had unlisted voting booths.''

But Tammeus is touched to be invited to give his 2 cents worth to North, ``although I bet I won't get a seat on the Advisory Board if I don't kick in money.'' So he decided to return the 2 cents North has sent him in order to get a chance to ``offer my most serious advice: Quit the race. And tell Chuck Robb to quit. And then tell Virginia voters to start over.''

David Holmstrom, in the Christian Science Monitor (Oct. 25), bemoaned the quality of those running for office this year. ``Behind the slick TV ads attempting to retool images of candidates from Virginia to California lurks a fundamental American question: Where oh where are ethics?''

Holmstrom quotes Michael Johnston, a Colgate political scientist, on how Robb and North seek to finesse character problems. North says he lied ``for the greater good'' and, by the way, ``don't believe anyone who accuses me.'' Whereas, according to Johnston, Robb ``is trying to reinterpret events by applying the did-not-inhale defense of sex.''

Erik Lacitis of the Seattle Times (Oct. 23) complains, perhaps facetiously, that politics in Washington state suffers by comparison with Virginia. ``Most of the time, elections here are between Relatively Nice and Relatively Competent Candidate A, and Relatively Nice and Relatively Competent Candidate B. B-O-R-I-N-G races.''

And then he says, ``Let's compare our sweatered candidates to those in Virginia. There, the nightly news brings some excellent mud-slinging between Sen. Charles Robb and Oliver North, who's trying to unseat him. Adulterer. Liar. Dishonored the flag. Immoral. That's something you can put at the top of the news.''

David Dahl of the St. Petersburg Times (Oct. 24) points out that, like Sen. Jesse Helms of North Carolina, the former fund-raising record holder, ``North's fund-raising strength is rooted in dramatic direct-mail appeals that have kept his name in front of the public.'' And he quotes this subtle line from one of North's mailings: ``When I am elected senator, Ted Kennedy and his liberal buddies are going to squirm like a can of worms on the first day of fishing season.''

Dahl also is responsible for a good quip. He notes that North used a famous Playboy cover of Tai Collins in one of his ads. The cover said: "The Woman Senator Charles Robb Couldn't Resist." To which Dahl says, "Oliver North couldn't resist her, either."

Speaking of quips, here are a few from the Indianapolis News (Oct. 24), which has described the Virginia Senate race as Slime vs. Scum:

"North has raised $15 million ... mostly from wealthy voters who claim all their money is going for federal taxes." (Actually, a great number of North's contributors are "little guys," especially retirees on fixed incomes.)

"Former Virginia Gov. Doug Wilder has endorsed bitter rival Robb for the Senate - proving compensation can override conviction."

And finally: "Q: What will President Clinton likely call Wilder now that he's agreed to back Robb? A: Mr. Ambassador."

Compiled by Keith Monroe of Landmark News Service, with help from researcher Peggy Earle.

Keywords:
POLITICS

by CNB