
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, October 31, 1994                   TAG: 9411030046
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

BOOM-BOOM'S GOT THE VOTE OF YOURS TRULY

I come from a more genteel time in state and national politics, and I get kind of scared of the way television is used in modern elections. Not to mention the fact that it tends to make me sick.

Long after I was a boy, politicians used to run simple ads in the newspapers that said:

VOTE FOR GENGHIS POTTS

HE'S AN HONEST MAN

FREE RIDES TO THE POLLS

Now, television would do a spot for Potts as follows:

Genghis is seen walking through a meadow with his children amid clouds of butterflies and other wind-blown debris that would ruin the average voter's sinuses. The background music is from "Camelot."

The narrator says:

"They say that Genghis Potts is not an honest man, despite the lovely meadow, children, butterflies and other wind-blown debris you see here.

"Genghis Potts did not have a tryst at the Hummingbird Inn, as his opponent would have you believe. He merely went there at 4 a.m. to borrow a butterfly net from Boom-Boom McGinnis, a well-known butterfly enthusiast and long-time family friend.

"Genghis Potts is a honest man with a commitment to integrity and to meadows, children, butterflies and wind-blown debris. He deserves your vote."

The opposition commercial goes like this:

The narrator says:

"Don't let all of that stuff about meadows, children, butterflies and other wind-blown debris fool you. Genghis Potts has never been in a meadow in his life. But he has been to the Hummingbird Inn.

"Genghis Potts tells he went to the Inn at an unholy hour to borrow a butterfly net from Boom-Boom McGinnis. But Boom-Boom, who is going to vote for Harry Turnbuckle, says differently."

There is a shot of Boom-Boom getting her legs waxed, and she says:

"Listen, a girl like I knows that some clown doesn't come to your room at 4 a.m. to borrow a butterfly net. I don't have a butterfly net. I hate butterflies, but I'm just wild about Harry."

Narrator:

"Would your wife or husband believe that you went to the Inn at 4 a.m. to borrow a butterfly net from Boom-Boom or Joe Muscles? Vote for Harry Turnbuckle. He doesn't need meadows, children, butterflies and all that junk in the air to be the best choice in this election."

You can do what your conscience tells you on Election Day. Me? I'm going to ignore the Potts/Turnbuckle race and write in Boom-Boom for the school board, if I can figure out how to do it on a voting machine.

by CNB