Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, December 28, 1994 TAG: 9412290038
SECTION: BUSINESS PAGE: A-7 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: SANDRA BROWN KELLY
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
To some people, though, overspending has a lot more meaning that just buying too many gifts once a year.
Overspending can be a sickness, one Roanoke Valley woman learned.
The woman is 43 and has an education level "far beyond high school," she said.
Her compulsion to buy things, however, has almost wrecked her marriage and her life. She wanted to tell her story, but asked that her name not be printed.
"It's embarrassing," she said.
Shopping is promoted as therapy. Feel lonely? Go shopping. Feel like you don't look good? Go buy something nice for yourself. Feel neglected? Treat yourself to a new outfit.
"That's a real problem with society. Excessive shopping is not looked on as a behavior to be changed. It's almost looked at as a healthy thing to do," she said.
The woman wasn't always an overspender.
"I was the kind of person who wouldn't spend any money. I was a saver and careful about budgeting," she said.
Then, something snapped. She began to binge on food and on shopping and eventually was hospitalized for depression.
"Spending money gave me a lift, then I'd crash and feel guilty," she said.
She had hidden her habit from her husband by always waiting until he was away from home to bring her purchases inside.
"I'd put them in my closet and bring the items out one at a time," she said.
Mostly, she bought clothing, but sometimes her purchases were household items. Most of them were not needed and before long she had racked up several thousand dollars in credit-card debt just to support her shopping desire.
Plus, she made certain she got the bills that came in the mail and hid them from her husband. She worked so she could make the credit-card payments without his knowledge. While she was in the hospital, however, her husband opened the bills and learned about her volume buying.
He was angry, she said. "He was thinking of divorce. Then he decided maybe we both needed to see a therapist."
She began going to counseling and actually had a hard time convincing the counselor that spending was an illness. But, for a while, she controlled her spending and she and her husband got along better.
Then she backslid and erased almost all of the progress they'd made.
"I still have periods where I feel a great need to buy things. Usually, I let my husband know," she said.
She and her husband have not met any other people in similar circumstances, but, with the help of Mount Regis Center in Salem, they are inviting people concerned about their spending habits to meet with them Jan. 3 at 8 p.m. If the response is good, they'll set up a support group, the woman said.
If you don't think your spending problems have reached the stage of sickness, but you need help balancing your budget, contact Consumer Credit Counseling. Virginia Garretson, the CCC president, and her staff will help you set up a budget or establish a plan for paying off your bills.
CCC help is free. The phone number is 563-0076.
by CNB