
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, December 28, 1994                   TAG: 9412290056
SECTION: EDITORIALS                    PAGE: A-11   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: CAL THOMAS
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

BIG DEAL

THE LIBERALS have been lying in wait for Newt Gingrich. Since the November election, those who thought the results were an aberration have been waiting for something - anything - to latch on to in order to keep people from focusing on the agenda for real change the Republicans say they want to bring to Congress and the country.

They thought they had their issue when Gingrich mentioned orphanages as one of many solutions to the welfare problem. But despite inflating the issue far beyond its capacity to contain their hot air, its life span was only about a week.

But the book deal was something else. Here was something many Americans would ``get.'' Never mind that the book idea was not Gingrich's, that an agent had gone shopping among conservative figures looking for another ``Book of Virtues'' or a Rush Limbaugh mega-seller. Never mind that the book idea was auctioned, which allows many publishers to bid. Never mind that Rupert Murdoch, owner of HarperCollins, the company with the winning bid, says he knew nothing about the deal. No, never mind all that. Democrats - who hate for anyone to be making much beyond minimum wage because of their loathing of the rich - had found their issue.

Besides, liberals have demonstrated in recent years that they are bankrupt of ideas (at least ideas that work), and the only way they can get and hold power is by charging the other side is guilty of something scandalous.

What to do to assuage the wrath of the offended elites? How best to prove to Gingrich critics like Rep. David Bonior (who wrote a book on Vietnam that hardly anyone bought) the purity of the speaker-to-be's motives were no different than any other author's, except that he is making more than the rest of us?

Here's a Top Ten List that might help Gingrich pacify the angry liberal gods, or possibly give them apoplexy:

No. 10 - Show up at the Internal Revenue Service office in Washington with a check for the 40 percent in taxes the government will get and say it's your personal contribution to lowering the national debt.

No. 9 - Demonstrate compassion to former House Speaker Jim Wright, whom Gingrich helped oust because of his shady book deal, by purchasing 10,000 copies of his book and donating them to libraries around the country.

No. 8 - Contribute the entire amount to Father Flanagan's Boys' Town.

No. 7 - Buy time on one of the networks so the whole country can see the 1938 film ``Boys' Town'' starring Spencer Tracy and everyone's favorite orphan, Mickey Rooney.

No. 6 - Make a substantial contribution to President Clinton's struggling legal defense fund to help him fight charges related to Whitewater and sexual harassment.

No. 5 - Purchase a high-quality security system for the White House.

No. 4 - Noting Rupert Murdoch's Australian roots, contribute to a fund that would house and feed orphaned kangaroos.

No. 3 - Buy some trees in the Amazon rain forest. That will make Al ``Earth In The Balance'' Gore happy.

No. 2 - Purchase thousands of copies of Al Gore's best-selling book (no one is knocking him for cleaning up) and give it to the homeless so they can use it to burn for fuel to keep warm this winter.

No. 1 - And the best way for Newt Gingrich to respond to liberal critics of his book deal: Enjoy yourself and live well. They hate that.

- Los Angeles Times Syndicate

by CNB