Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, December 29, 1994 TAG: 9412290084
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-2 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: BETTY HAYDEN CORRESPONDENT
DATELINE: CHRISTIANSBURG LENGTH: Medium
The slogan belongs to the national Children's Rights Council of which Young is a member. The council is a gender-neutral advocacy group that promotes children's rights to have both parents, along with extended family members, actively involved in their lives.
Young is starting a satellite chapter of the group in the New River Valley. He got involved with the council a few years after he and his first wife divorced in 1990. At first, Young shared custody of his daughter, Megan, with his former wife.
But when his ex-wife moved to Richmond in 1992, joint custody ended.
The change in custody upset Young who says without joint custody a "parent is a visitor in the child's life," rather than a constant influence. Young went from seeing his daughter four days a week to two weekends a month.
He hates the term "visitation."
"You visit people, grandparents - not your children," he said. "What kind of hope can I have of being a good father?"
His frustration continued until January 1993 when he saw a story on the television news magazine "48 Hours" about the Children's Rights Council and a chapter in the Tidewater area.
He contacted the Tidewater chapter and received additional information about the group, including resources it offers members involved in custody proceedings.
Young learned about binding mediation through the group and used it to settle the custody agreement with his former wife instead of debating the issues in court.
In April 1993 Young started a chapter in Roanoke to help other parents and children who shared his situation.
Young remarried and moved to Christiansburg in March. He attends Roanoke College and still meets with members in Roanoke, but he decided parents in the New River Valley needed a satellite chapter of their own.
The members discuss their mutual experiences and spend time studying custody laws and suggesting changes.
Members join representatives from the state's three other chapters to lobby state and federal officials.
There are chapters all over the nation and a few in Canada, said Michael Ewing, president of the Tidewater group.
Ewing says the organization has gained attention nationally as awareness has spread among fathers, but paternal custody is not the focus - what's best for the children is.
Young counts 12 paid members in his New River organization right now, but the actual membership is a little larger.
"I don't push money because some people don't have the money," he said. "People are free to come to our meetings."
The dues are $45 a year, with $17.50 going to the national group and $27.50 remaining with the local chapter. Young says he'd like to start a local newsletter to supplement the national publication.
The New River group meets on the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month at Young's house on Franklin Street. For more information, call Young at 382-0150.
"Parents who want to be involved in their child's life - let them," Young says. "I don't know that we can work wonders, but we're slowly pecking away at the laws."
by CNB