Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: FRIDAY, December 30, 1994                   TAG: 9412300094
SECTION: CURRENT                    PAGE: NRV-3   EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY 
SOURCE: NEW RIVER VALLEY BUREAU
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Short

NEW YEAR, NEW LOWS

Embarrassed to admit that you don't have the world's most exciting evening planned? Well, take comfort.

From the home office on Peppers Ferry Road, we've come up with a list of "Top 10 Worst Things to Do in the New River Valley on New Year's Eve."

One quick scan through this exciting list may convince you that curling up in front of the TV in your footie pajamas may not be such a bad idea after all.

10. Go skinny dipping at Mountain Lake with the NRV Polar Bears Club.

9. Rig the Burruss Hall carillon to play "You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog" at midnight.

8. Put on your "Rush Limbaugh is God" T-shirt, go into Gillie's Restaurant in Blacksburg, and order the "dead meat special, hold the bean sprouts."

7. Run a one-day framing special for Radford University College of Global Studies diplomas.

6. Dress up in a diaper and run down Main Street in Christiansburg yelling "Kiss Me! I'm the 1995 baby!"

5. Play "Snatch the Phoniest Toupee and Run" in your favorite hotel lounge.

4. Wait for Elvis in the Kmart parking lot.

3. Lose your Christmas bonus at midnight bingo.

2. Go to a yuppie New Year's party and listen to people brag about how much money they made in '94.

1. Wear your "Weed Eater Bowl Welcomes the Wahoos & Horned Frogs" button.